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Chiara Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
could you please check my writing?
0 Hello, could you please check my writing, please? 02 br
02 br
00 I will appreciate any kind of comment and suggestion. 02 br
02 br
00 Thank you, 02 br
02 br
00 Chiara 02 br
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00 Dear Mr. Smith, (am I supposed to write a name here or not?) 02 br
02 br
00 I’m the Secretary of Student Committee, 02 br
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00 I would like to thank you for the invitation to the opening of the new Longridge Arts Centre. 02 br
02 br
00 I was positively surprised by the useful services the centre will provide to all of our students. 02 br
02 br
00 The theatre is very nice and it will be a pleasure for the students to make their annual productions in it. 02 br
02 br
00 The 00 is also very beautiful and I’d like to congratulate you on the choice of the opening exhibition which I found very interesting. I also liked the Arts Library very much. I couldn’t expect a more consistent choice of classical and contemporary art books. 00 Students will also enjoy the Cafè’s food which is absolutely delicious. 02 br
02 br
02 br
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00 Unfortunately, a part all that, there are some things which really disappointed me and that are very important for all students. 02 br
02 br
02 br
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00 Firstly, the cinema programs don’t fit in at all with our annual cinema course. We would have expected unusual and international movies, and not the latest movies we can see in any cinema of the town. 02 br
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00 Secondly, the 60% of the students asked for a studio recording, but you didn't even mention it on your handout. I also shall remember you that we were supposed to use the rehearsal rooms for free, but I know that we will have to pay for it and not all students will be able to afford it. 02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 Finally, only 5 percent of discount will be provided on all tickets, while we were promised 10 percent . 02 br
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02 br
02 br
00 I find all that very unfair for all students who, as you certainly remember, gave a big economical support for the building of the Arts Centre. 00 Therefore, I hope you will agree with me, that a meeting between us is necessary to discuss the issues above 00 and find the best solution of them. 02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 Yours sincerely, 02 br
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00 XY (do I have to write a name?) 02 br
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02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
0-
02 br
00 I will appreciate any kind of comment and suggestion. 02 br
02 br
00 Thank you, 02 br
02 br
00 Chiara 02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 Dear Mr. Smith, (am I supposed to write a name here or not?) 02 br
02 br
00 I’m the Secretary of Student Committee, 02 br
02 br
00 I would like to thank you for the invitation to the opening of the new Longridge Arts Centre. 02 br
02 br
00 I was positively surprised by the useful services the centre will provide to all of our students. 02 br
02 br
00 The theatre is very nice and it will be a pleasure for the students to make their annual productions in it. 02 br
02 br
00 The 00 is also very beautiful and I’d like to congratulate you on the choice of the opening exhibition which I found very interesting. I also liked the Arts Library very much. I couldn’t expect a more consistent choice of classical and contemporary art books. 00 Students will also enjoy the Cafè’s food which is absolutely delicious. 02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 Unfortunately, a part all that, there are some things which really disappointed me and that are very important for all students. 02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 Firstly, the cinema programs don’t fit in at all with our annual cinema course. We would have expected unusual and international movies, and not the latest movies we can see in any cinema of the town. 02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 Secondly, the 60% of the students asked for a studio recording, but you didn't even mention it on your handout. I also shall remember you that we were supposed to use the rehearsal rooms for free, but I know that we will have to pay for it and not all students will be able to afford it. 02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 Finally, only 5 percent of discount will be provided on all tickets, while we were promised 10 percent . 02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 I find all that very unfair for all students who, as you certainly remember, gave a big economical support for the building of the Arts Centre. 00 Therefore, I hope you will agree with me, that a meeting between us is necessary to discuss the issues above 00 and find the best solution of them. 02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 Yours sincerely, 02 br
02 br
00 XY (do I have to write a name?) 02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
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Top answer
0 01 blockquote 01 cite 10 Chiara 12 cite 10 Hello, could you please check my writing, please? 12 br 12 br 10 Thank you, 12 br 12 br 10 Chiar[ 12 br 12 br 12 br 12 br 10 Dear Mr. ) 11 font 10 That depends on the situation.
- 0 01 blockquote 01 cite 10 Chiara 12 cite 10 Hello, could you please check my writing, please?
- 12 br 12 br 10 Thank you, 12 br 12 br 10 Chiar[ 12 br 12 br 12 br 12 br 10 Dear Mr.
- ) 11 font 10 That depends on the situation.
- 12 font 12 br 12 br 10 I’m the Secretary of Student Committee, 11 font 10 and 12 font 10 I would like to thank you for the invitation to the opening of the new Longridge Arts Centre.
- 12 br 12 br 10 The theatre is very nice and it will be a pleasure for the students to 11 del 10 make 12 del 10 11 font 10 present 12 font 10 their annual productions in it.
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4 Answers
0
0 01 blockquote
01 cite 10 Chiara 12 cite 10 Hello, could you please check my writing, please? 12 br
12 br
10 I will appreciate any kind of comment and suggestion. 12 br
12 br
10 Thank you, 12 br
12 br
10 Chiar[ 12 br
12 br
12 br
12 br
10 Dear Mr. Smith, (am I supposed to write a na
00
0 Hello Feebs, thank you very much for your help, again. I would like to ask you few questions, if you don't mind.. 02 br
02 br
00 First of all: I wasn't sure the Secretary was and adult or a student. So I couldn't decide whether to use "we" meaning (us, the students) or "they". 02 br
02 br
00 Dear Mr. Smith, (am I supposed to write a name here or not?) 01 font
02 br
00 First of all: I wasn't sure the Secretary was and adult or a student. So I couldn't decide whether to use "we" meaning (us, the students) or "they". 02 br
02 br
00 Dear Mr. Smith, (am I supposed to write a name here or not?) 01 font
00
0 01 blockquote
01 cite 10 Anonymous 12 cite 10 Hello Feebs, thank you very much for your help, again. I would like to ask you few questions, if you don't mind.. 12 br
12 br
10 First of all: I wasn't sure the Secretary was and adult or a student. So I couldn't decide whether to use "we" meaning (us, the students) or "they". 12 br
11 b
00
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