Could you please check my Ielts writing, please? Thank you

Could you please check my Ielts writing task 2? Thank you so much!

Topic: People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that it is better for them to follow new custody since they had moved to a foreign country. Others think that it is not a good thing to do. As for me, I agree with the idea of changing a person habits so that he would be able to fit in with the surrounding environment.

People are afraid of the fact that if someone changed his custody, that person would soon forget his origin. His children would no longer remember where they came from, which, is considered to be very disrespectful to the ancestors.

However, a human does not have to give up on his old custody in order to fit in with a new society. Changing one’s habits would get that person to be friendlier with the neighbors around him. And as he has more friends, it seems to be a good chance for him to introduce the culture of the place where he came from. For instant, Chinese immigrants who went to the US create “China Town” to show the Americans the spirit of their country. Another benefit of following new custody is that a human could open his mind as he tries new things. He would be able to learn about the world’s knowledge and wisdom, which are the things that are required of a person to be successful.

After all, though there are some negative thoughts about changing one’s custody, I strongly support the idea of trying new things, including following foreign tradition. Because not only helping one to understand a new place, it also helps turning him into a global citizen.