Could you please check my English writing?

Question

I've studied the following words and made some sentences with them.

appear, assume, borrow, client, downtown, dull, embarrasse, fare, formal, formula, found, invest, loan, practical, salary, scholarship, temporary, treasure, urge

1. Staying in warm bed in winter appeals to me.
2. I assume you've brought more money than me.
3. Can I borrow this book to read tonight? I will bring it back tomorrow.
4. Can I take a pencil to use? I will give it back to you in a short time.
5. Our shop has many clients who enjoy coming to our shop.
4. The downtown is always crowded.
5. The downtown is always full of many people.
6. The book was so dull that I fell asleep reading it.
7. I hate feeling embarrassed when I can't give quick answers in English.
8. Because she is a kid, my niece pays a low fare for the bus.
9. My formal mobile phone is old-fashioned.
10. I couldn't solve some math problems in the exam because I didn't have the formulas.
11. I founded a new company.
12. He invested almost all of his money in a new building hoping that it would bring him a profit.
13. I got a loan for my new house.
14. This cooking show is practical. It gives me easy recipes and helps me.
15. If you learn English, you will use it in many places.
16. I make a small salary because I just do a part time job but I could make a better salary if I got a real job.
17. My friend always want to move her job for a better salary.
18. My friend alwasy want to move to other job with a better salary.
19. I want to get a scholarship to college, so I have to study hard and get great grades.
20. I've borrowed a mobile phone from my friend. It is just temporary. I'll get a new one soon.
21. Children believe there is a buried treasure somewhere.
22. Mom urge me to do my homework.

Teechr · Accepted Answer

domdom1. ~~Staying~~ Sleeping in a warm bed in winter appeals to me.

or

domdom1. Staying in ~~warm~~ bed in winter appeals to me.

domdom4. Can I borrow your pencil? ~~take a pencil to use?~~ I will give it back to you shortly. ~~in a short time.~~

domdom5. ~~Our shop has~~ We have many clients who enjoy coming to our shop.

domdom5. The downtown is always full of ~~many~~ people.

domdom8. Because she is a kid, my niece pays a low fare for the bus.

The usual expression here is "on the bus." You can avoid problems in that sentence by saying "pays a reduced bus fare."

domdom9. My formal mobile phone is old-fashioned.

That's an odd sentence. I don't think it illustrates a typical use of "formal."

domdom14. This cooking show is practical. It gives me easy recipes and helps me.

Again, that's not a good sentence to illustrate the use/meaning of "practical." I've never seen a theoretical cooking show.

domdom15. If you learn English, you will use it in many places.

domdom16. I ~~make~~ earn a small salary because I just do a part time job, but I could make ~~a better salary~~ more if I got a real job.

domdom17. My friend always want to move her job for a better salary.

domdom18. My friend alwasy want to move to other job with a better salary.

#17 and #18 don't work. Try:
My friend always wants to change jobs to get a better salary.

domdom22. Mom often urges me to do my homework.

The rest are OK.

Domdom · Answer

Thank you for all your corrections, but some make me confused.

teechrdomdom1. Staying in warm bed in winter appeals to me.
teechrdomdom1. Staying Sleeping in a warm bed in winter appeals to me.

I'm trying to say "I don't get up from bed straight away because it's so warm in bed". So I can say "Staying in a warm bed in winter appeals to me"?

teechrdomdom8. Because she is a kid, my niece pays a low fare for the bus.

My English vocabulary book says to explain the word 'fare' that "Since he is a senior, my grandfather pays a low fare for the bus". And I followed some way of the expressions. How should I understand?

teechrdomdom9. My formal mobile phone is old-fashioned.

Sorry, this is my mistake! I had to say 'former', not 'formal'. So this is "My former mobile phone is old-fashioned".

16. I ~~make~~ earn a small salary because I just do a part time job, but I could make ~~a better salary~~ more if I got a real job.

-Is "Make a small salary" wrong at all? Because my book is saying it. I just took it with my own added things.

17. My friend always want to move her job for a better salary.
18. My friend alwasy want to move to other job with a better salary.

-I wrote those from "He got a new job with a better salary" from my English book, so I thought my sentences were right as well. I don't know the difference between my sentences and the original one.

Thank you!

Anonymous · Answer

domdom17. My friend always want to move her job for a better salary.18. My friend alwasy want to move to other job with a better salary.

These are awkward. It would be better and more natural to say: My friend always wants a different job with a better salary.

Teechr · Answer

domdomI'm trying to say "I don't get up from bed straight away because it's so warm in bed". So I can say "Staying in a warm bed in winter appeals to me"?

Yes, that's OK.

domdompays a low fare for the bus ... How should I understand?

See my previous comment on that.

domdomSorry, this is my mistake! I had to say 'former', not 'formal'. So this is "My former mobile phone is old-fashioned".

OK.

domdomIs "Make a small salary" wrong at all?

It's unnatural to me.

domdom-I wrote those from "He got a new job [with a better salary]" from my English book, so I thought my sentences were right as well. I don't know the difference between my sentences and the original one.

Try making (basic) sentences using the highlighted text as a block; don't alter it.

Could you please check my English writing?

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