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松田唯 Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Could you please check my English?
Hi, I'm Yui. I'm a Japanese student.
I have to make dialogues about life after retirement by using those words; mandatory retirement, live on one's pension, be a pensioner, stash away a nest egg, get the golden hand shake, don't vegetate, don't be introverted.
I somehow completed the dialogues, but I think it's not natural.
Especially, I don't know how to put the punctuation correctly.
Could you please help me to make my dialogue more natural?
Also, please correct my English if it's not accurate.
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A: My father will retire from his job this month.
B: Oh really? I though your father was still young.
A: He is still 60 years old. He’s still sharp as a tack, and he can even work better than any of the other young workers, but his company has a mandatory retirement policy, and he has to retire at 60.
B: Oh, that’s not good. I believe the government should discard mandatory retirement altogether, so that people who want to work can work as long as they want!
A: I totally agree with you. I’m also worried about my family. Even he can get the golden handshake, he still has to wait for another 5 years to be a pensioner.
B: I heard even pensioners can’t only live on their pension and some of them still have to find a part time job to support their family.
A: Have you ever thought about your life after retirement?
B: Not really. Why?
A: I’m so worried about my retirement life and sometimes can’t stop thinking about it.
B: Come on! You are way too young to start worrying about your retirement!
A: I know, but I’m worried that after I retire I will have nothing to do. I will have no one to meet but just sit at home, watch TV and vegetate like my grandfather does. I’m also worried about my money. So now I’m looking for a nice retirement fund for myself to stash away a nest egg for retirement.
B: Seriously? Well, I think you should just stop thinking like that. Why can’t you think your retirement life will be amazing? Also, I think you should help your grandfather. Tell him ‘don’t vegetate,’ ‘don’t be introverted’. You should take him outside, help him enjoy his second life.
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Especially the last one, "B: "Also, I think you should help your grandfather. Tell him ‘don’t vegetate,’ ‘don’t be introverted’. You should take him outside, help him enjoy his second life. "
Can I put the ‘don’t vegetate,’ and the ‘don’t be introverted’ in to the middle of the speech like this? Or should I say it in a different way?
I hope somebody has time to help me.
Thank you very much.
Yui
I have to make dialogues about life after retirement by using those words; mandatory retirement, live on one's pension, be a pensioner, stash away a nest egg, get the golden hand shake, don't vegetate, don't be introverted.
I somehow completed the dialogues, but I think it's not natural.
Especially, I don't know how to put the punctuation correctly.
Could you please help me to make my dialogue more natural?
Also, please correct my English if it's not accurate.
--------------------------------------…
A: My father will retire from his job this month.
B: Oh really? I though your father was still young.
A: He is still 60 years old. He’s still sharp as a tack, and he can even work better than any of the other young workers, but his company has a mandatory retirement policy, and he has to retire at 60.
B: Oh, that’s not good. I believe the government should discard mandatory retirement altogether, so that people who want to work can work as long as they want!
A: I totally agree with you. I’m also worried about my family. Even he can get the golden handshake, he still has to wait for another 5 years to be a pensioner.
B: I heard even pensioners can’t only live on their pension and some of them still have to find a part time job to support their family.
A: Have you ever thought about your life after retirement?
B: Not really. Why?
A: I’m so worried about my retirement life and sometimes can’t stop thinking about it.
B: Come on! You are way too young to start worrying about your retirement!
A: I know, but I’m worried that after I retire I will have nothing to do. I will have no one to meet but just sit at home, watch TV and vegetate like my grandfather does. I’m also worried about my money. So now I’m looking for a nice retirement fund for myself to stash away a nest egg for retirement.
B: Seriously? Well, I think you should just stop thinking like that. Why can’t you think your retirement life will be amazing? Also, I think you should help your grandfather. Tell him ‘don’t vegetate,’ ‘don’t be introverted’. You should take him outside, help him enjoy his second life.
--------------------------------------…
Especially the last one, "B: "Also, I think you should help your grandfather. Tell him ‘don’t vegetate,’ ‘don’t be introverted’. You should take him outside, help him enjoy his second life. "
Can I put the ‘don’t vegetate,’ and the ‘don’t be introverted’ in to the middle of the speech like this? Or should I say it in a different way?
I hope somebody has time to help me.
Thank you very much.
Yui
Top answer
A: My father will retire from his job this month. B: Oh really? I thought your father was still young.
- A: My father will retire from his job this month.
- B: Oh really?
- I thought your father was still young.
- A: He is only 60 years old.
- He’s still sharp as a tack, and he can even work better than any of the other young workers, but his company has a mandatory retirement policy, so he has to retire at 60.
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1 Answers
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A: My father will retire from his job this month.
B: Oh really? I thought your father was still young.
A: He is only 60 years old. He’s still sharp as a tack, and he can even work better than any of the other young workers, but his company has a mandatory retirement policy, so he has to retire at 60.
B: Oh, that’s not good. I believe the government should discard
B: Oh really? I thought your father was still young.
A: He is only 60 years old. He’s still sharp as a tack, and he can even work better than any of the other young workers, but his company has a mandatory retirement policy, so he has to retire at 60.
B: Oh, that’s not good. I believe the government should discard
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