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Dasar Posted 20 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

could you optimize this paragraph please !

hi,

i wrote this paragraph as a condolence for a member - in other forums on the Internet - , about his illness and entrance the nursing home.

and i think it may written in a better way, so could you please optimize this paragraph, - as well as this topic Emotion: smile -

this is what i have written:

such events and circumstances give me a big wish of cry Emotion: crying

but i'd like to say : Paul, be strong !

Paul, i don't have a previous relationship with you before, but really, i wish you the best luck !

i hope these words expressed what i'm feeling in my heart, despite my bad english !



please correct me any mistake in the paragraph, and in this topic too Emotion: smile

thank you in advance ^_^
  

Top answer

Paul, Although I don't really know you that well, I wanted to let you know that I am saddened by the recent events in your life, and also let you know that I wish you all the best. I encourage you to be strong, and hope you will know that my thoughts are with you. I don't write with the best English, but I do write the thoughts that are in my heart.

— BarbaraPA

  • Paul, Although I don't really know you that well, I wanted to let you know that I am saddened by the recent events in your life, and also let you know that I wish you all the best.
  • I encourage you to be strong, and hope you will know that my thoughts are with you.
  • I don't write with the best English, but I do write the thoughts that are in my heart.
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5 Answers
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Paul,

Although I don't really know you that well, I wanted to let you know that I am saddened by the recent events in your life, and also let you know that I wish you all the best. I encourage you to be strong, and hope you will know that my thoughts are with you. I don't write with the best English, but I do write the thoughts that are in my heart.
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Grammer Geek,

thank you very much for your answer, it was very appreciated Emotion: smile

but, could you - or any one else - opt
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i wrote a reply, but it didn't appear to me, i don't know whether it will appear later, or there is a problem in the forum..

anyway, i'll re-reply again:

Grammar Geek,

thank you very much for your answer, it was very appreciated.

but, could you please - or anyone else - optimize my first post ? " i mean my orginal qustion "

thank you in advance
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Hi,

I'll try to keep your words as much as possible.

Best wishes, Clive

Such events and circumstances really make me wish to cry
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