Could you help me to reiview my writing task 2 below? And give me some advices about the coherence and cohesion of the essay. Thank you very much.

A country should spend money on skills training or vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are growing concerns about spending fund for education nowadays. While some people argue that vocational education should be funded more than higher education, I cannot accept this and investment in university education are superior.

On the one hand, there are some reasons why skills training is inferior to university education. First, a skilled course will merely bring people the way how to do the job but it does not provide any disciplines in-depth, so learners wouldn’t understand fully. Second, if vocational training is invested more than university education, it will create labour with a low level on society, therefore, the prospects that people move up the career ladder is not realistic.

On the other hand, a university education will give you an opportunity to get higher education. After graduating from there, students apply for a Master or PhD Degree, which provides the groundwork to be elite scientists. The university environment also facilitates more and more innovations for a social life due to scientific researches. Moreover, a university student has trained skills about work in the future as well. For example, a pharmacist leaving university will have not only the practical skills but also the capability to study academic researches. At universities, students do not study only rigid knowledge for jobs but they study a variety of soft skill such as leadership, time management,etc… that results in landing a high salary job.

In conclusion, I believe that university education should be fostered to be the best-funded system in the countries. It will create the bright future for not only individuals but also nations worldwide.