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Question

TOEFL

The TOEFL test is a test that measures the ability in English for both nonnative and native speakers who attend the university. It requires in many colleges and universities as an admission for it. Moreover, it predicts how well the students do with the university level. In my opinion, TOEFL test is a good gate keeper to the university because it helps to improve the English language and it helps a lot in the profession in the future.

TOEFL test can help students to improve their languages skills. Students might do more practice in structure and reading comprehension to do well in the exam. This might help them to pass the exam with satisfaction marks. So, their ability in tricky question probably be good for them. Moreover, students might catch the words correctly if they are good in listening. And this probably will lead them to be good listener in both in university and in a life. However, students who not pass the TOEFL test will have another chance for doing exam again after repeating the level again. This way might help students to gain more practice and skills for the course that might help them to do best in the TOEFL.

The TOEFL test helps students in their profession at university and in the work place. Because of good score of the TOEFL, students can deal easily with the teachers in a foreign country. Also, their ability to understand the studying will be more easily. Most companies believe that the university students who take TOEFL are more successful and their English is perfect. As a result, they hire them to be a part of their company. Also, their spoken language is fluent which lead them to deal perfectly with non local people in the world.

The admission of the university by TOEFL test is a good way for students to improve their languages skills and for profession in the future. In my point of view, TOEFL many times might help the students to deal perfectly in their studying.

Notwhy.whynot · Accepted Answer

By just briefly looking over it and not being much of an editor I found these:

1. "The TOEFL test is a test that measures the ability in English for both nonnative and native speakers who attend the university." -- You don't need "is a test that" because we know it's a test because you just told us. I think that changing the word order would improve clarity. Maybe trying "measures the ability of both non-native and native English speakers." The test is a nation wide test so you might want to change the last part of the sentance just to point out that it is used at your university.

2. "It requires in many colleges and universities as an admission for it." Should be "It is required..." You don't actually need "as an admission for it." Which consequently doesn't make sense. If you want something like it, maybe "for admission" instead.

3. "Moreover, it predicts how well the students do with the university level." change "with" to "on"

4. "In my opinion, TOEFL test is a good gate keeper to the university because it helps to improve the English language and it helps a lot in the profession in the future. " I'm not sure what you mean by 'gate keeper' but maybe that's my problem. What isn't solely just me is what you're trying to convey in the last part of this sentance. "it helps a lot in the profession in the future." Do you mean that it helps non-native speakers be professional? Clarify and work on the wording a bit.

5. The next sentance (first sentance in the second paragraph) is fine. One thing is that you either need to call the test "the TOEFL test" or "TOEFL tests." You can't say "TOEFL test" without an article in front of it (in this case, the).

6. 2nd sentance, same paragraph. Change "in" to "on" and you'll be fine. I would personally re-word the paper, but the meaning is clear and there are no obvious gramatical misstakes (to me).

7. "This might help them to pass the exam with satisfaction marks." You don't really need this sentance at all since you conveyed the message in the last sentance. If you choose to keep it, keep in mind that "satisfaction marks" might be changed to "high scores."

8. "So, their ability in tricky question probably be good for them. " This is plain and simple, a bad translation of your thought. What I think that you mean here is that in an attempt to get a good score on the test they might actually learn something. Try this sentance again. Inadvertently they learn better English by studying for the test.

9. "Moreover, students might catch the words correctly if they are good in listening. And this probably will lead them to be good listener in both in university and in a life." You already used the word "moreover" and while it's not an uncommon word, it's hardly ever used twice in the same essay. You might want to leave it out. As for the rest of the sentance needs a bit of revision. I think you're trying to point out that it also encourages practicing listening skills. Try to revise it by using better language (more consice) and cutting out the "in both in university and in a life." which you don't need. (by the way, that last part was incorrect anyways. You don't need to "ins" (let alone three) nor "a" because we know it's the students life you're talking about. It would be more correct to say "in both the university and life." Still, that is not a very good sentance part.

10. "However, students who not pass the TOEFL test will have another chance for doing exam again after repeating the level again. This way might help students to gain more practice and skills for the course that might help them to do best in the TOEFL. " Take out the However, you don't need it and it's repetative. You need a "do" after who. Students who DO not pass... "for doing exam" is incorrect and unnesessary. What do you mean by "level?" If you mean year in school in the United States that is usually called either "year in school" for college/university level or "grade" for High School. If you mean a class then simply say the TOEFL class or whatever it is called. The next part you don't need "way" in there. Take it out. Also you're using conditional language for the next sentance which you won't want to do. Retaking a year in school or a class (or whatever "level" you mean) will DEFINATELY give them more practice, so you might want to change "might" to a more definate "will." Saying "more practice and skills" is kind of repetative. You might want to either take out the "and skills" part or change it to show that they're praciticing skills. Honing skills is a good phrase you might want to look up/become familiar with. I don't think you mean they are gaining more practice for the course, but because of the course. so watch what you say in the middle there. Finally the end of paragraph two. "Best" needs to be changed to "better" or if you're saying they will do THEIR best then you need to put THEIR in there. It's not completely correct, but better. Also, change "in" at the end of that sentance to "on."

That concludes the first two paragraphs. Consider these suggestions and revise the whole thing and I'll look at the rest if I can.

You're doing very well, just keep it up! I hear English is one of the most difficult to learn because it makes very little sense. My heart goes out to you.

Sweety · Answer

thank you very much for correcting my essay ..
i am very glad about that..

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