Could you help me to correct TASK 2 - IELTS Test

TOPIC writting IELTS task 2

Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion

The idea that the preserve of wild animals and birds are received too much concern and too many resources. I totally agree with this opinion.

Firstly, there are two main reasons convinced me to believe that the wild animals are gotten too much attention. One reason is that many Non-governmental organization (NGO) have been established to protect the wild animals, the valuable and rare ones in particular. As a result, a great numberl of people have contributed their responsibilities to keep the safe natural environment for the wild animals. In addition, many famous artists through their activities to claim the world reserve them. For example, it is undoubtable the Video Roar was performed by Kate Perry created a large scale influences to persuade people to protect animals all over the world. Furthermore, news about the wild animal can be share rapidly on the Internet. If a bear is imprisoned somewhere, this news will be widespread on the social networks, such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram…

Besides, too many resources are given in the protection of birds. It is clear that so much money have been raised every year to ensure a safe environment for the wild birds, such as the infrastructure, the artificial living standard… Moreover, a great deal of money is spent to invest to researching and reversing the rare AND of the wild birds. The more difficult research to protect the AND of wild birds is, the more it costs.

In conclusion, will all of the above reasons, I agree that both concern and resources are focused too much on protection of the wild animals and birds.