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Cherry88cn Posted 17 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Could you help me to correct my essay ?Thanks!!
Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?
In contemporary society, some scientists believe that what affect us most are the original personal characters rather than the knowledge we have got later. But meanwhile, whether this is true or not has sparked enormous controversy. Those people who agree this statement argue that there is too much originality we have got and can never change. On the other hand, those, who claim that we are always adapting say the lives we get through influence us on all aspects. For my part, I vote for the latter view as it sounds to me to be more reasonable.
It is generally accepted that we easily transform our attitude or behaviour when the surroundings push us to be so. To start with, friends or relatives whom we respect a lot influence our think when they talk to us. Specifically, we would be altered quickly as they illustrate their points clearly. Besides, another reason behind my position is the standard of life we are living is crucial for the characteristics we are shaping. To illustrate, we would be frugal if we were raised in impoverished households and would prone to waste money if we were in wealthy families. Additionally, common sense leads us to the point: We are confident when all our wishes could be turned to reality. Therefore, the successful rates are vital for the characters inside us.
Admittedly, we should also notice that born characters is also important in many ways. This is due to the fact that people born to be diverse. However, the truth lies somewhere closer to the fact that later stories influence us more because we are always changing in accordance with the experiences in life.
To sum up, I would concede that what we are born with effect us somehow. Nevertheless, it is highly advisable for us to consider the later experiences are the main influence sources.
In contemporary society, some scientists believe that what affect us most are the original personal characters rather than the knowledge we have got later. But meanwhile, whether this is true or not has sparked enormous controversy. Those people who agree this statement argue that there is too much originality we have got and can never change. On the other hand, those, who claim that we are always adapting say the lives we get through influence us on all aspects. For my part, I vote for the latter view as it sounds to me to be more reasonable.
It is generally accepted that we easily transform our attitude or behaviour when the surroundings push us to be so. To start with, friends or relatives whom we respect a lot influence our think when they talk to us. Specifically, we would be altered quickly as they illustrate their points clearly. Besides, another reason behind my position is the standard of life we are living is crucial for the characteristics we are shaping. To illustrate, we would be frugal if we were raised in impoverished households and would prone to waste money if we were in wealthy families. Additionally, common sense leads us to the point: We are confident when all our wishes could be turned to reality. Therefore, the successful rates are vital for the characters inside us.
Admittedly, we should also notice that born characters is also important in many ways. This is due to the fact that people born to be diverse. However, the truth lies somewhere closer to the fact that later stories influence us more because we are always changing in accordance with the experiences in life.
To sum up, I would concede that what we are born with effect us somehow. Nevertheless, it is highly advisable for us to consider the later experiences are the main influence sources.
Top answer
Highlighted a few things you might want to rephrase/correct. In contemporary society, some scientists believe that what affect us most are the original personal characteristics rather than the knowledge we have got later. But meanwhile, whether this is true or not has sparked enormous controversy.
- Highlighted a few things you might want to rephrase/correct.
- In contemporary society, some scientists believe that what affect us most are the original personal characteristics rather than the knowledge we have got later.
- But meanwhile, whether this is true or not has sparked enormous controversy.
- Those people who agree this statement argue that there is too much originality we have got and can never change.
- On the other hand, those , who claim that we are always adapting say the lives we get through influence us on all aspects.
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2 Answers
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Highlighted a few things you might want to rephrase/correct.
In contemporary society, some scientists believe that what affect us most are the original personal characteristics rather than the knowledge we have got later. But meanwhile, whether this is true or not has sparked enormous controversy. Those people who agreethis statement argue that there is too
In contemporary society, some scientists believe that what affect us most are the original personal characteristics rather than the knowledge we have got later. But meanwhile, whether this is true or not has sparked enormous controversy. Those people who agree
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i like the idea of your essay. you used a lot of vocabularies which is very good but sometimes the sentence structure is not good.
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