Could you help me correct my task 1 IELTS writing ?

The bar chart illustrates data on the proportion of 3 elements which contributed to the UK economy from 1900 to 2000.

In general, it is obvious that the percentage of agriculture and manufacturing steeply decreased, meanwhile the figures for business and financial increased which was the highest constituent contributed to the UK economy.

In 1990, the proportion of agriculture remained the highest, at around 50%. By contrast, the rate of business and financial was at the lowest point which approximately 3%. About 45% of UK economy was contributed by manufacturing.

Despite a small growth in 1950, the percentage of agriculture observed a dramatically decline, around 2% in 2000, making the element fall behind two others. At the same time, there was a considerable fall in the figures of manufacturing with approximately 15%. On the other hand, the proportion of business and financial soar up to about 35% in 2000, significantly surpassing the percentage of agriculture and manufacturing to be the highest element contributed to the UK economy.