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Biana0803 Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Could you help me correct my essay

Writing task 2: Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

At the present time, the question of whether the increase in fuel costs is expected to contribute to environmental conservation has been receiving a great deal of public concern. I totally opposed this view because of the following reasons.

It is understandable why some extol the idea of the effective way to preserve the environment is to increase the price of fuel. The reason is that they assumed it is so cost-consuming to commune by private vehicles, then they consider choosing public transport in lieu of personal cars, which eliminate the significant amount of gas emission from these vehicles. However, this argument is implausible because of the fact public transportations such as buses and trains also exchange a large amount of carbon dioxide and emissions, which leads to environmental contamination. Besides, although using bicycles is a good option, it is not preferred in this modern society where convenience must be the ultimate priority.

To put more weight on my point of view, I believe the government should carry out some active campaigns opposing the polluting environment and encourage citizens to use renewable resources to protect nature. Firstly, the authorities should impose fines for behaviors such as littering and discharging chemical products into nature that pollutes the environment. Take Singapore as a prime, where its reputation of being impeccably clean, those who throw out items can be finned $300, which make people have no dare to littering so that we can minimize the amount of trash released into nature. Moreover, inhabitants are also encouraged to use renewable energy resources like solar or wind in daily activities. For instance, people can use solar panels to restore energy for cooking or exploit waving and wind to create electric generation for household applications, which brings workable effects in environmental protection by preventing the depletion of necessary resources such as fossil fuel, and petrol.

In conclusion, it need not cost a fortune to enhance the price of fuel which is expected to be the best way to protect the environment. Hence, I am in disagreement with the point that the increase in price should be launched on fuel.

  

Top answer

Some comments: 1- You wrote more than 350 words! In the actual exam, you do not have time for that. Aim for a maximum of 280.

  • Some comments: 1- You wrote more than 350 words!
  • In the actual exam, you do not have time for that.
  • Aim for a maximum of 280.
  • 2- You need to structure your response based on the given question and on the stance you take in the introduction.
  • Here, the question has two parts: a- to what extent do you agree with the given statement, and b- what other measures can be taken.
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1 Answers
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Some comments:

1- You wrote more than 350 words! In the actual exam, you do not have time for that. Aim for a maximum of 280.

2- You need to structure your response based on the given question and on the stance you take in the introduction. Here, the question has two parts:

a- to what extent do you agree with the given statement, and

b- what other measures can be taken.

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