Could you have a look at my corrections?

Hi all and happy new year!

Could you please have a look at these two descriptions of "Windows XP" (the operating system) some of my students made? It seems like a huge post, but there are, in fact, just some questions at the end. First, I'm copying the task, then, my students' descriptions and, afterwards, my corrections. I'm mainly interested in the grammatical aspect, not in technical stuff, but if you'd like to add some comments on this as well, they'll be welcome! Since these students work for an IT company). If you find anything that I haven't corrected and SHOULD be corrected, please let me know. Thanks to all of you and here it is:

TASK:

Write a description of Windows XP based on the information in the table below:

Windows XP

Type Windows-based

Computer Wide variety

Features

· clean and simple desktop

· strong multimedia features

· Microsoft Office package

· built-in firewall

· Internet Explorer 6.0

· Multitasking

· Symmetric multiprocessing support

Graphics engine GDI+ 1.0

Standard Support Windows Media Player, DirectX

User interface type GUI

User interface Luna, Watercolor

Source code availability Not available

STUDENTS' DESCRIPTIONS. MISTAKES IN GREEN, MY CORRECTIONS IN RED, * FOR MY QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS TO YOU (FORUM MEMBERS)

1.

Windows XP is a Windows-based operating system that runs on a wide variety of computers. It has a lot of features such as *clean and simple desktop, strong multimedia capabilities*(2), Microsoft office > Office package, built-in firewall, IE 6.0, Multitasking > multitasking and symmetric multiproccessing support. As any modern OS>, it has a graphics > Graphical user interface*(3). Its engine is called GDI+ 1.0, and has two UI options: Luna and Watercolor. Lastly, Microsoft doesn't provides > provide the OS*(4) source.

* Should it be "features such as clean and simple..." or "features such as a clean and simple desktop, the Microsoft Office package, a built-in firewall". What about "multitasking and symmetric multiprocessing support"? Should it be preceded by anything? "Multitasking" refers to the OS and NOT to the "support", right?

*(2) I assume he's looking for a good substitution of "features" not to repeat the same word. But is "capabilities" a good one indeed? Maybe in an IT context...

*(3) When we write the words which form an acronym not as an acronym but separately, should we capitalize the first letter? As in PIN, is it "Personal Identification Number" or "personal identification number"?

*(4) "Microsoft doesn't provide the OS source". Sould it be "the OS's source" or "the source of the OS"? I don't think "the OS source" will do, since we're not dealing with a compound noun here, are we?

2.

Windows XP is a famous and versatile Operating System based in > on windows type > windows-type interface*, > and designed for a wide variety of computers, such as desktop or mobile*(2). Some of the most imprtant features are: clean and simple desktop, strong multimedia features, Microsoft office > Office package, built-in firewall, IE 6.0, Multitasking > multitasking and symmetric multiprocessing support. Its graphics engine is the GDI+ 1.0 which support> supports a Graphic > Graphical user interface. Also, Windows XP, > no comma includes standard support for W. Media Player and Direct X. Important: users can choose between "Luna" or > shouldn't it be "and"? "Watercolor" interface. Regards> Regarding/ As regards the source code, this > or simply "it"? is not available.

* "based on windows-type interface" or "based on a / the windows-type interface"?

*(2) Would you leave it like this or write "desktops or mobiles"? Can we nominalize these adjectives? I know "desktop" is a noun, but here, he's making reference to "desktop computers", where the word acts as an adjective. Or maybe you'd write the word "computers" at the end, as in "desktop or mobile computers"?

Thanks a million!

Mara.