Could you giveme a feedback on this Cover Letter?

Question

0Hi, I would need feedback, as it is obvious on my cl I am not an American Citizen, I live in Europe and want to move to the US this is why I tought of talking about it, sinc it would be wierd to make like I'm in already in the US.02br02br00Should I also talk about the Visa the employer needs to do for me to go to work there or do I leave it for the phone/personal interview?02br02br00In addition with the corrections, should you give me your advice, should I make this more/less personal, more "to the point", longer, etc.02br02br00Thanks in advance.02br02br00D00ear Sir/Madame,00I am writing in response to your recent advertisement for a C# Web Developer in Monster dot com. I am very interested in this position and feel that I have all the necessary qualifications.00First of all I would like to introduce myself. I am xxx, lived in xxx until I was xxx. I now live in xxx where I work and studied in the xxx University.02br00As you will see in the enclosed résumé, I have had more than five years of solid IT and office experience, a college level education and specialized training in technology related subjects. I had the chance to work and learn on highly technical projects and also to be part of a large office where 00I learned different processes including the steps and procedures to obtain a CMMi Level 3 certification.00I would like to call your attention on my résumé describing in details my main professional activities. In addition, I feel that having this combination of technical experiences and knowledge of administrative procedures would make me a very qualified candidate for a position within your company. I would appreciate very much having an opportunity to discuss my application with you in further details.00I look forward to your early and favorable reply, and hope to meet with you at your earliest convenience.02br02br00Sincerely yours02br0500240hrefhttp://amazon.com/gp/product/0395588316?ie=UTF8&tag=EnglishForward-20&link_code=em1&camp=212341&creative=384057&creativeASIN=0395588316&adid=e736026e-2695-444d-8e6c-5cbbf7244734c

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

0Sorry for the horrible typos......!0-

Mr Wordy · Answer

0I ought to say at the outset that I'm not an expert on the subject of US visa regulations.02br
02br
00I think that you should state your nationality (in addition to where you live) at the top your CV, but it sounds as if you might have already done that.02br
02br
00In your covering letter, in the part where you say "I am ***, lived in *** until I was ***", I would consider also saying "I have *** nationality" ("***" being "British", "French", "German", or whatever it might be). Then I would leave it at that for now -- there's no need to raise additional doubts and complications that detract from the positive points that you're trying to get across. Then, if they follow up your application, you can bring up the visa issue if they don't do so first. 02br
02br
00I've suggested a few small changes to your letter, which I marked up below. I struck out a sentence that I thought didn't really add any value beyond what you've already said. There were several places where you were missing spaces after full stops that may not be obvious in the markup.02br
02br
00To me, the tone and content seem fine, and it's about the right length. Certainly I don't think it needs to be longer. But if you can somehow sneak in just a couple of words to indicate how your qualifications and experience are directly relevant to C# web development (rather than IT in general) then that might be a good idea. But no need to go into great detail because that will all be explained on your CV.02br
02br
01i00D00ear Sir/01del~~00Madame02del~~01b00Madam02b00, 00I am writing in response to your recent advertisement for a C# Web Developer 01del~~00in02del~~00 01b00at02b00 Monster dot com 01b00[should this be written as "monster.com"?]02b00. I am very interested in this position and feel that I have all the necessary qualifications. 02i00First of all I would like to introduce myself. I am ***, 01b00and I02b00 lived in *** until I was ***. 01del~~00I now live in *** where I work and studied in the *** University02del~~00 01i01b00I studied at *** University and I now live and work in ***02b00.02br
00As you will see in the enclosed résumé, I have had more than five years of solid IT and office experience, a college level education and specialized training in technology01b00-02b00related subjects. I 01b00have02b00 had the chance to work and learn on highly technical projects and also to be part of a large office where 00I learned different processes including the steps and procedures to obtain a CMMi Level 3 certification. 02i01del~~00I would like to call your attention on my résumé describing in details my main professional activities. In addition,02del~~00 I feel that 01del~~00having02del~~00 this combination of technical 01del~~00experiences02del~~00 01b00experience02b00 and knowledge of administrative procedures would make me a very qualified candidate for a position within your company. I would appreciate very much having an opportunity to discuss my application with you in further 01del~~00details02del~~00 01b00detail02b00. 01i00I look forward to your early and favorable reply, and hope to meet with you at your earliest convenience.02br
02i0-

Anonymous · Answer

0Thank you very much for the feedback, I will make the changes now.0-

Could you giveme a feedback on this Cover Letter?

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions