Could you fix my first writing essay, please? Thank you very much^^

Question

I'm trying to write the new essay. I think there is a mix-up.

'they just spend time on trivial things so they will have a vague (wrong word) future. For instance, Barbara McClintock, who is a famous female scientist, has been dreaming of being a physicist when (wrong word) she was young. Then she started to work harder to make her dream real. She spared (wrong word) days and months on doing an experiment, taking part in a science club and finishing scientific homework until (wrong word) midnight. Obviously, because she had a lucid ambition, she always tried her best to complete everything regarding science.'

I don't know why 'when' and 'until' are wrong words. I mean, 'when' is at which time; on which occasion. 'Until' is up to the point in time or the event mentioned. So why they are wrong?

Blue Jay · Accepted Answer

Ð? HuongI don't know why 'when' and 'until' are wrong words. I mean, 'when' is at which time; on which occasion. 'Until' is up to the point in time or the event mentioned. So why they are wrong?

"When" is incorrect in this sentence because it generally can't be used with an action that is still happening, like "She has been dreaming.....". For this we would usually use "since". However, the underlying problem with your sentence is that it's clear that McClintock is now grown, and being a scientist is no longer a dream but a reality. This means that you should say that she dreamed of being a scientist, and if you phrase it this way you can use "when": "Barbara McClintock, who is a famous female scientist, dreamed of being a physicist when she was young".

"Until" is incorrect in this sentence because until is used to refer to the ending of an activity that continued for a period of time. and "finishing" is usually seen as a single event, not a continuous action. Finishing takes place at a time, not until a time. You could say, "....and working on science homework until midnight".

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Ð? HuongI'm trying to write the new essay. I think there is a mix-up.

They just spend time on trivial things so they will have an uncertain future.

For instance, Barbara McClintock, who is now a famous female scientist, had dreamed of being a physicist when she was young.

For instance, Barbara McClintock, a famous scientist, has dreamed of being a physicist since she was young. (She is still dreaming about this. It is not very logical because she has realized her dreams. But maybe now she dreams of winning the Nobel Prize.)

This is a natural version of the paragraph written as a story.

For instance, Barbara McClintock dreamed of being a physicist when she was young. Then she started to work hard to make her dream real. She dedicated days and months of time on doing experiments, taking part in a science club and staying up until midnight to finish her science class homework. Because she had a clear goal, and was ambitious, she always tried her best to excel in everything regarding science. Now she is a famous scientist.

Could you fix my first writing essay, please? Thank you very much^^

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