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Anonymous Posted 13 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

could you fix my essay??

‘Good growth’ and ‘Smart welfare’ is one of a solution and a complement for the polarization of wealth.
I think ‘good growth’ means ‘growing together’.
To achieve this, need to government and company’s efforts.
Government should be established some policy for the small company who has great potential for growth. And company also need to supports and pass on their know-how, to growing together with them.
Of course, government not only force advanced company’s sacrifice for small company, but also give them some ‘’the carrot”.
If achieve ‘growing together’ we can minimize a dependence risk. We also can solve the polarization of wealth.
‘Smart welfare’ can be a complement for the polarization of wealth.
I think ‘smart welfare’ is not offer en bloc to every one which is offer to someone who needs support.
Budget is limited, so we should not give to everyone by 10 to 10. We should give it to someone who needs by 5 to 20. It is more reasonable and smart.
Government must understanding their needs through the accurate survey and have to thinking that how to give them smartly.
To achieve ‘good growth’ and ‘smart welfare’ we need to renounce our egoism and we need future-oriented thinking.
Genuinely care and help the weak, we can make to achieve ‘good growth’ and ‘smart welfare’ in our society.
  

Top answer

Here are a few quick overall comments. What is the exact wording of the question or topic that you are writing about? Have you been taught yet what a paragraph is?

  • Here are a few quick overall comments.
  • What is the exact wording of the question or topic that you are writing about?
  • Have you been taught yet what a paragraph is?
  • Your essay needs to be organized into paragraphs.
  • I think you should begin by defining what 'good growth' means.
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1 Answers
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Here are a few quick overall comments.

What is the exact wording of the question or topic that you are writing about?

Have you been taught yet what a paragraph is? Your essay needs to be organized into paragraphs.

I think you should begin by defining what 'good growth' means. And also by defining 'smart welfare'. I don't understand these phrases.

Clive

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