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Eric_cartman Posted 17 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Could you edit this essay for grammar and style please?

Export of engineering services to the United States
Introduction:
It's a known fact that the United States is the most prominent and high-tech country worldwide in engineering fields. Most of the inventions and innovations in engineering have originated in this country. Currently, according to the existing statistics, the biggest corporations in most of the engineering fields are registered in the US. American corporations and expert individuals are omnipresent in every major engineering project executed in an international capacity.
In the present essay, I will focus on civil engineering services for infrastructure based on my academic major and career experiences.
In light of the opening sentences, exporting engineering services to the US seems implausible and far-fetched at first glance; however, in my estimation there are potential possibilities for such exports for the following reasons:
1. The Unites States has a reasonable population growth rate compared to the other countries of the world. This creates demand for development of new facilities such as housing, roads, airports, power plants, dams, etc as the population increases. This puts the US in good market demand for engineering services.
2. As we all know, a great number of infrastructures were constructed in the US before any other country. For instance, dam and power plant construction as is common today first emerged in the US. Many of these will fall into obsolescence in the next few years and will have to be overhauled or reconstructed. While the chances of this happening to a developing country will remain quite slim for several decades. Therefore, the engineering services market will be even in more demand.
3. One of the most important factors affecting the finished cost of a product or service is the cost of human resources. Since the cost of hiring expert workforce constitutes a major portion of the total expenses in engineering services and that such costs are relatively higher in industrial countries, it can be concluded that as products are exported to the US, so can engineering services if they meet the requirements and conditions that will be discussed later.
Before entering the main body, I should mention that this essay takes a qualitative approach to the issue and that all the assumptions are based on relevant reference books and my own knowledge. Obviously, quantitative and statistical analyses require extensive research which is not possible due to the existing limitations.
  

Top answer

Hi, Here are just a few quick overall comments. In a formal essay, don't make a list of numbered points. In my opinion, you are commenting too much on the essay structure in the course of your writing.

  • Hi, Here are just a few quick overall comments.
  • In a formal essay, don't make a list of numbered points.
  • In my opinion, you are commenting too much on the essay structure in the course of your writing.
  • The reader is interested in your comments on the topic, not on your comments about how you have sructured your essay.
  • I've highlighted the parts the above two comments mainly relate to.
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1 Answers
0
Hi,

Here are just a few quick overall comments.



In a formal essay, don't make a list of numbered points.



In my opinion, you are commenting too much on the essay structure in the course of your writing. The reader is interested in your comments on the topic, not on your comments about how you have sructured your essay.



I've highligh

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