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Anonymous Posted 9 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Could you correct my opinion essay, thanks a lot

Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education, and that government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or dissagree with this opinion?

Many people believe that government should supply sponsorship for all students regardless of their weak financial background, this enables everyone to have equal opportunities to approach university education. Personally, I completely agree with this idea.

There are variety of reasons why government should give financial supports for students. It is obvious that students are future generations of country, they play an important role in all-round development of nation. Therefore, it is neccesary that education should be top government priority. In addition, all individuals whether they are rich or not have the right to obtain knowledge and skills from university. Because by doing this way, government not only eradicate inequalities in society, but also motivate students to improve as well as complete themselves.

Apart from the practical reason expressed above, I think that best policy to develop country is that government prioritizes expenditure on education. For example, one nation is not able to produce medicines, high-technology equipments because of low education citizens and must import from other countries. If this situation lasts in long term, the amount of money which government spends on importing might be more than concentrating on education. Besides, this country will lag behind other countries. Furthermore, nowadays due to globalization, so that students should learn and enhance skills from university to become more competitive in job market in comparision with foreign employees.

In conclusion, I believe that it is accurate to make it free for all university students. Because all countries need not stopgap measure, but long-lasting measure to boost the economic and other sectors.

  

Top answer

I have highlighted the text that has mistakes. If you have any questions, please reply. Many people believe that government should supply sponsorship for all students (unnatural.

  • I have highlighted the text that has mistakes.
  • If you have any questions, please reply.
  • Many people believe that government should supply sponsorship for all students (unnatural.
  • Use "sponsor all students", "give full scholarships to all students") regardless of their weak financial backgroun d, (run-on sentence) this enables everyone to have equal opportunities (Should be singular) to approach a university education.
  • Personally, I completely agree with this idea.
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I have highlighted the text that has mistakes. If you have any questions, please reply.



Many people believe that government should supply sponsorship for all students (unnatural. Use "sponsor all students", "give full scholarships to all students") regardless of their weak financial background, (run-on s

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