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Guest Posted 21 years ago
Grammar

Could you correct my essay ?

hello , I'm french and I have to write an essay for tomorrow
could you correct this extract please ?
it's about two characters: biko ( a human rights leader in south africa during the apartheid) and woods( a white journalist living in south africa)


Thanks to this, he became conscious of the inegality, between black and white men, reigning in his country.
Afterwards, he went with Biko in many of his trips and supported him in all situations.
This realization hugely affected him; biko “has opened his eyes”. Therefore the journalist has made all that he was able to do to help and support his dear friend so much so that he had judicial problems.
Thus, a great friendship was born.
Unfortunately, the 21st of august, biko is arrested for trying to join Cape Town despite the interdiction. He ended his life isolated and ill-treated in the Praetoria central prison where he died of a brain disease on September the 7th.
His death had been a terrible shock for the black people who already considered him as their hero…



thank you !
  

Top answer

Thanks to this, he became conscious of the inequality between black and white men reigning in his country. Afterwards, he went with Biko on many of his trips and supported him in all situations. The realization hugely affected him; Biko had opened his eyes.

  • Thanks to this, he became conscious of the inequality between black and white men reigning in his country.
  • Afterwards, he went with Biko on many of his trips and supported him in all situations.
  • The realization hugely affected him; Biko had opened his eyes.
  • Therefore the journalist did all that he was able to do in order to help and support his dear friend, so much so that he had legal problems.
  • Thus, a great friendship was born.
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1 Answers
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Thanks to this, he became conscious of the inequality between black and white men reigning in his country. Afterwards, he went with Biko on many of his trips and supported him in all situations.
The realization hugely affected him; Biko had opened his eyes. Therefore the journalist did all that he was able to do in order to help and support his dear friend, so much so that he had legal probl

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