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Gillyflower Posted 6 years ago
Grammar

Could you check this please?

Hi,

Could you check the below writing please?

" In this study, increased workers' annoyance with their socioeconomic status shows that there are an impact and a two-way relationship between job status and socioeconomic condition, so that workers with lower socioeconomic status are more likely to be occupied in positions with higher noise level and consequently annoyance, and people with appropriate social status are more likely to be occupied in positions with less exposure to noise and annoyance."


Thanks!

  

Top answer

You have squeezed too much into one long, complicated sentence. I read it, but I still have no clear idea of what you have studied and what your conclusions are. Here's my advice.

  • You have squeezed too much into one long, complicated sentence.
  • I read it, but I still have no clear idea of what you have studied and what your conclusions are.
  • Here's my advice.
  • Try to rewrite this in the form of simpler sentences.
  • After you have done that, youcan look at ways to combine them.
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1 Answers
0

You have squeezed too much into one long, complicated sentence. I read it, but I still have no clear idea of what you have studied and what your conclusions are.

Here's my advice. Try to rewrite this in the form of simpler sentences. After you have done that, youcan look at ways to combine them.

Clive

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