Could you check this paragraph about "life?"

Question

If there is anyone who has lived a life as they have planned, you could say that their life is very boring. Earlier in life, they must have faced many decisions to take a course of life which would lead to a different direction from what they had originally planned. However, they must have chosen which way to take according to their plan.

Doctor D · Accepted Answer

I would say more than this and I would say it differently. Here are my suggestions

The opening sentence:
If there is anyone who has lived a life according to plan [adjective style]
If there is anyone who has lived their life as they have planned [agreement of persons]
If there is anyone who has lived life as they have planned [generalization]

Second sentence (confusing as written). I would break it into two sentences:
Earlier in life, they must have faced many decisions
about which direction their course of life should take.
Some of those directions would have been contrary
what they had originally planned.

The last sentence is weak (add strong verbs)
However, they must have refused to take any direction other than the one dictated by their plan.

Those are my suggestions and my reasons for suggesting the changes. I hope this helps.

Doctor D · Answer

I see I dropped a word. It should read "contrary to"

TeacherJapan · Answer

Thank you very much, Doctor D. Your advice is very helpful! I've always wanted to know how native
speakers would write, so I really appreciate your help

As a native speaker of Japanese, I am pretty
confident about how I write in Japanese, but when it comes to English, I have a lot more to learn.

Could you check this paragraph about "life?"

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions