Could you check my IELTS writing and give me some dedicated comments on my essay. Because I have learn on my own, I need someone to help me with my writing. Please help me. Could you also give my band score?

𝙈𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙨 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙨 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙢𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙗𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙛𝙞𝙩𝙨. 𝘿𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙨 𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙝 𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙤𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙤𝙣.

The debate over whether the boons of hosting international sports fixtures outweigh their downsides is widely considered a highly contentious issue. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my conclusion on the matter.

Organizing a plethora of world-renowned athletics competitions provides host nations with a multitude of advantages, not only in boosting their economy but also in fostering a strong sense of national patriotism. It is evident that with the popularity of cross-national sporting events, host countries are more likely to witness a surge in financial opportunities, such as drawing millions of holidaymakers flocking to cheer for their own nations or super-athletes for whom they have long admired, thus significantly promoting cultural exchange and enhancing the tourism sector. Additionally, if the tourism and entertainment industry of these countries are able to benefit lucrative profits from sports, there will be the likelihood of job stability; hence, local citizens might stand a chance of making significant contributions to societal welfare. Furthermore, besides those aforementioned advantages, hosting such critically acclaimed matches associated with physical pursuits undoubtedly drives the constant investments in high-tech sports-related equipment and state-of-the-art infrastructure, including improvements in transportation and recreational facilities, seamlessly catering to customized needs of a wide range of physical activities. This allows host regions experience economic merits while fostering national prestige as a result. It is a well-known fact that sports represent not only a pastime pursuit but also the image of a nation. Through the flag presented during the national anthem ceremony before the start of any sports competition, for instance, a nation's identity is conveyed. Therefore, sports have long been considered an epitome of unity, as the collaboration of athletes and the enthusiastic support from fans, gravitating towards the ultimate ambition of securing an invaluable championship, are a clear manifestation of patriotism, unity, and competitive spirit. This asserts their nations' positions on the world stage while strongly demonstrating the formidable strength of solidarity among players and supporters alike.

However, there are also several drawbacks associated with hosting interconnected sports events. The financial burden is by far the most significant issue towards the host nations. The grant given to build up new and high-quality stadiums, upgrade infrastructure while securing the safety can be prohibitively expensive. For instance, the 2016 Rio Olympics left Brazil flooded with massive debts and underused sports facilities. If Vietnam were to host a similar event without proper planning and investment, it might face similar financial challenges. Furthermore, the environmental impact of hosting large-scale events cannot be ignored. The rapid expansion of new sports facilities in host nations, while significantly meeting to both the entertainment sector and the growing public interest in sports, coupled with the influx of tourists visiting these countries, poses a serious threat to their environmental sustainability, resulting in increased pollution and waste generation. Also, the displacement of local communities to make way for the swift emergence of event infrastructure can cause social unrest and long-term harm to the local population.

In conclusion, while organizing large-scale sporting events can allow nations to experience economic benefits and instill a strong sense of national pride, the potential financial strain and environmental degradation are inevitable contributors that hinder continuous advancement. From my standpoint, a balanced approach that includes meticulous planning and sustainable practices can help maximize the advantages while diminishing the downsides, ensuring that the positive outcomes are more likely to outweigh the negative ones.