Could you check it for the mistakes, please?

Question

I’m Russian and I’m practicing writing a letter in English for my school final exam. So could you please check it for the any type of mistakes I could do with it?

«Dear Sofie,

Thank you for your recent letter. I was so glad to hear from you again.

You’ve mentioned your school trip, and I’m glad you liked it. I remember when I was ten my teacher took my class to the classical music concert. My classmates were bored, but I enjoyed it so much. Sadly, it was the only school trip I had, but from then I love classical music just as much as my mom, ha-ha [Commentary: I wanted to say here that I love music just as much as I love my mom, but then I reread it and found that here can be another meaning: I love music just as much as my mom loves it. So, the question: did I do the mistake here and if not, how did you understood this phrase: in the first (my) meaning or in another, that I didn’t want to put?]. So it was the only but the most memorable school trip I could ever have in my life.

I was curious about your parrot, because I didn’t know you have him, so tell me about him. How old are him? What’s his name? Was it hard to teach him to speak?

Sorry, I have to go now, it’s time to move on to the next exam task. Write back soon!

Take care,

Semyon

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

RiviezI’m Russian and I’m practicing writing a letter in English for my school final exam. So could you please check it for the any type of mistakes I could do with it?

I’m Russian, and I’m practicing writing a letter in English for my school final exam. Could you please check it for the any type of mistake I might make on it?

RiviezThank you for your recent letter. I was so glad to hear from you again.

Good. That use of "so" is informal, but it is a personal letter, after all, so I will stay in that vein.

RiviezYou mentioned your school trip, and I’m glad you liked it.

Only use the perfect if you have to. She mentioned the trip in her letter—simple past.

RiviezI remember when I was ten my teacher took my class to a classical music concert.

There are many ways to put that, but using "my" twice like that is not ideal. My first instinct is "the teacher took our class". To use "the" with the concert, you would have to say which concert, something like "the concert at the local Party Rally Hall".

RiviezMy classmates were bored, but I enjoyed it so much.

There's that "so" again. It is a bit precious and imprecise.

RiviezSadly, it was the only school trip I ever had,

Put this in the last sentence of the paragraph.

Riviezbut from that day on I have loved classical music just as much as I love my my mom

On first reading, I thought you meant that your mom loved classical music. It was ambiguous, but mine is the natural reading, I think.

RiviezSo it was the only but the most memorable school trip I could ever have in my life.

"Sadly, this was the only school trip I ever went on, but it was the most memorable one I could ever have had."

"In my life" is redundant with "ever".

RiviezI am curious about your parrot, because I didn’t know you had him, so tell me about him. How old is he? What’s his name? Was it hard to teach him to speak?

RiviezSorry, I have to go now, It’s time to move on to the next exam task. Write back soon!

Could you check it for the mistakes, please?

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