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Mitsuo23 Posted 6 years ago
Grammar

Could you brush up my writing? (118 words)

Hi,

the sentences below are from a summary section of my resume (first time in English).Would you brush it up, or correct grammatical errors?

5+ years of working or studying abroad. These experiences include:

-- A renovation project in Indonesia. This project was organized by JAIC to renovate a geological museum. Including local people, a number of construction companies were put together, and I participated in it as a chief remodeler.

-- A music festival in New York. This project invited many artists from the U.S and Japan, and was run by staff from a wide range of cultures and backgrounds. I worked for it as assistant producer.

4 years of programming and 2+ years of work experience in the IT industry. I worked at SANYO in the Overseas Department as negotiator for clients and coordinator across the departments inside the company.

Thank you.
-M
  

Top answer

Some suggestions are as follows: 5+ years of working and studying abroad. These experiences include: A renovation project in Indonesia. This project was organized by JAIC to renovate a geological museum.

  • Some suggestions are as follows: 5+ years of working and studying abroad.
  • These experiences include: A renovation project in Indonesia.
  • This project was organized by JAIC to renovate a geological museum.
  • As Chief Remodeler, I organised and coordinated local people and several construction companies.
  • A music festival in New York.
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1 Answers
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Some suggestions are as follows:

5+ years of working and studying abroad. These experiences include:
  • A renovation project in Indonesia. This project was organized by JAIC to renovate a geological museum. As Chief Remodeler, I organised and coordinated local people and several construction companie

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