Could you be so kind to help me? (another text...)

Would you please be so kind as to correct this little text for me? Please... I need a correction in two days and I can give you a little donation for the effort.
I put some alternatives and comments in brackets and parentheses.
Thank you so much in advance for ANY help (even partial!)

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Note: The entire passage is written in present tense in source language. I used present tense also in English, but I don't know if it is okay.
Plus... this is a translation from a book.


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At the San Sebastiano mountain chalet I completely relieve the tiredness (in the meaning he takes off his tiredness... he eliminates it) with a shower. I put on the wollen plaid white and blue shirt. I bought it after I read a story in which it was an important element (the original was just “it was important” but I don't know if you can understand the meaning). I always bring it with me when I'm in the mountains. I took it from a book, it is warm and literary (this is a whole figurative sentence. I translated it literally). It is like something that has been washed up to be ready for the dinner.

At seven o' clock in the evening the mountains become silent, you go to eat (or one can go to eat?). Outside the wind dissipates the clouds, I watch one of it at the window that seems to be unable (I put the verb “seems” on my own, I don't know if I did right. The original is: “that is unable”) to go beyond the mountain, to end up going against of it, smashing and enclosing it. They should do like soap bubbles which burst on contact with something (I put “with something” on my own). But they are like cotton wool. I am at the table near the window, so I can look oustide instead of the dining room (the original is simply a generic hall... but this is a mountain chalet so I suppose the main character is in a small place). I am alone, it is okay if you are in the mountains or at cinema (the original is: if you are in the mountains, at cinema as well). In this way I do not realize the she is entered and she is talking with the manager (I'm not sure if this is the appropriate word). She has taken a room (the original is: she has taken a bed in the mountain chalet) and she will eat with me if it is not a burden. She tells it to me after having sat down.

When the first raindrops fall on glass (Do I have to use THE before glass?), they make noise because they knock against a drain ground, then glass becomes wet so they make less noise and resistance (I translated this part literally, but I am not sure if it is okay). I would like to tell it to her, suddenly I am happy like a fresh wet glass. This is not the right time, I have seen her sobbing near a stranger (the original is: I have seen her sobbing at one meter from a stranger), of couse I will not give a hearty welcome to her (the original use the verb “to celebrate”, but I don't believe it can fit in this situation).

“Does it get over things so fast?” she asks me, just to say something.

“Before the sunset.”

She inquires about the route. It is an extermination of energies (I translated literally... I don't know if it is correct to use the plural form here), I reply, then I go back to being my usual serious self (The literal translation sounds more or like: then I come back to serious again) and I ask informations about her equipment. She does not have the helmet (I don't think crash helmet is fine here since it is not for driving, right? And besides the literal translation here is: She lacks the... but I don't know if it's correct) and the harness. I have a spare couple of them in my car.

“A provident assassin,” she says.

“Well yes, in my own way I premeditate.”

“I am desperate.”

“For your health?”

“No, that is not it.”

I hold my tongue to prevent myself from saying the cue of Totò (Totò is an italian actor My Note): “When there is the health...”. The effort brings with it an itch on my nose, I rub it, I make a couple of winces.

“A mountain face”, she sais.

“Thanks for the compliment.”

“What about mine?” she ventures to ask.

“It is like the one of a bride sent alone on the altar.”

“More complicated than this, but it is okay,” and she adds my name. I do not react. “Is not that your name?”

“This is my name and do not waste your strenght with doubts, because I will not lie to you.”