Could u have a look at my motivation letter?

Question

Hello!I'm trying to write down a motivation letter in order to apply for a Master in International Business!Could u have a look and tell me what's your first impression?I have just login so now I am confident in a reply.Thanks a millionDanieleDear Sir/MadamAiming at an international career in …, I would welcome the opportunity to participate in the ....offered at your Institute.I graduated in “Diritto dell’economia” in November 2004 from the University of .... My three year-degree involved several courses concerning both economics and law issues with particular attention to the legal aspect of economics. The emphasis of my studies was understanding economic, managerial and legislative aspects regarding the economic environment in which the SMEs operate. I chose to study Law and Economics because I have always been fascinated by economic issues, in particular by the role that SMEs play in the economy of Italy and, in particular, in the North-East Region and I believe that the degree I have obtained enabled me to discover and understand the fundamental processes of the economy of SMEs. Since the very beginning of my studies, I have never stopped perceiving my goal: wishing to cover a manager position in a small-medium size enterprise with a high propensity to export.   In recent years, the economy has been facing many fundamental changes. Investors can now move money abroad, markets have been liberalized and barriers to foreign entrants have disappeared. Globalisation, internationalization, integration: these are the buzzwords of today’s economy and it is undeniable that SMEs are seen as one of the worthwhile actors in the international processes. Thus, it is important for me to gain analytical insight into these processes in order to deal with such changes as my career aspiration is to become a part of these changes. To do so, I need more knowledge in International Business.Being very excited about internationalization, I worked on a thesis, carried out under the supervision of Prof. AAA, concerning a general view of International Trade Law and aiming to target the possible correlation and co-operation between soft law instruments and hard law instruments. Since I started my thesis, I have shown particular interest in International Business Law. Moreover, what mostly affected my decision to follow a career path in International Business has been to participate at a study visit concerning international trade issues, which took place in Rome in May 2004. I attended three brief conferences held by well regarded advocates of internationalization such AAA…What I gained from these meetings was the awareness that the transformation of the economic environment caused by the globalization and the development of technologies represents a threat to SMEs. Re-organization and changes are necessary to cope with these changes. Striving for a better education in International Business, I am thoroughly convinced that studying at the University of AAA, that is well known for its outstanding standard of teaching, may represent a once in a lifetime opportunity to gain necessary knowledge and experience.  Moreover, the opportunity of attending a quarter at the AAA, one of the leading French Business Schools, will be a perfect place to prepare myself to face the challenge of the business world.Thank you very much for your time, and considering my request. I look forward to your reply.

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

Overall, very good. Try to locate the specific name, or at least the title, of the addressee-- that would be better than Sir or Madam. Remember to leave two blank spaces after a period. I have made some minor changes:

Dear Sir orMadam:

I am aiming at an international career in …, and I would be grateful for the opportunity to participate in the .... program offered at your institute.

I graduated in “Diritto dell’economia” in November 2004 from the University of .... My three-year degree involved several courses in economics and law issues, with particular attention to the legal aspect of economics. The emphasis of my studies was understanding the economic, managerial and legislative aspects of the economic environment in which SMEs [ALWAYS WRITE OUT THE NAME FULLY THE FIRST TIME YOU USE IT-- SMALL AND MEDIUM-SIZED ENTERPRISES? SMALL MANAGEMENT ELEMENTS? STATO MAGGIORE DELL'ESERCITO?] operate. I chose to study law and economics because I have always been fascinated by economic issues, in particular by the role that SMEs play in the economy of Italy and in particular, in the northeast region, and I believe that my studies toward my degree enabled me to discover and understand the fundamental processes of the economy of SMEs. Since the very beginning of my studies, I have never lost sight of my long term goal: to attain a management position in a small-to-medium-sized export enterprise.

In recent years, the economy has been facing many fundamental changes. Investors can now move money abroad, markets have been liberalized, and barriers to foreign entrants have disappeared. Globalisation, internationalization, integration: these are the buzzwords of today’s economy and it is undeniable that SMEs are seen as valuable actors in these international processes. Thus, it is important for me to gain analytical insight into these processes, as my career aspiration is to become a part of these changes. To do so, I need more training in International Business.

Since I am very enthusiastic about internationalization, my thesis, carried out under the supervision of Prof. AAA, includes a general view of International Trade Law and targets the possible correlation and co-operation between soft law instruments and hard law instruments. In the course of preparing my thesis, I acquired a particular interest in International Business Law. Moreover, what has primarily affected my decision to follow a career path in International Business was my participation in a study visit on international trade issues, which took place in Rome in May 2004. I attended three conferences held by well-regarded advocates of internationalization, including AAA… What I gained from these meetings was an awareness that the transformation of the economic environment caused by globalization and technological development represents a threat to SMEs. Re-organization and changes are necessary to cope with these developments.

Studying at the University of AAA, which is well known for its outstanding teaching standards, represents a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me to gain necessary knowledge and experience. Moreover, the opportunity of attending a quarter at the AAA, one of the leading French business schools, would be the perfect place to prepare myself to face the challenges of the business world.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration of my request. I look forward to your reply.

Yours faithfully,

Blasfy80 · Answer

Thank you so much! NOW I feel as I have a much better chance to be admitted! There's no doubt that the letter has become more fluent, it's sound much better! You understood exactly the meaning of SMEs, small and medium size enterprises, the first meaning you have mentioned! Anyway, when I wrote that I didn't realise it may have had different meaning!

Could you give me an advice? It would be better if I said two words about my four-month experience in Ireland, in order to emphasise my english knowledge (unfortunately it's still poor) and the fact that I have already had an experience abroad.

thanks again. Daniele

Mister Micawber · Answer

It depends on what you were doing in Ireland-- if your experience was  education or career-related, then certainly add a word about it; if  not, I would save that information for your c.v. and interview.   The motivation letter should be concise and to the point.

Could u have a look at my motivation letter?

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