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Blackmamba Posted 21 years ago
Letter Writing
Could s.one give me a hand in correcting this? It's very important.
Hi all! This is a possible cover letter for my CV. Could anyone help me in correcting this?
Thanks!
Dear Sir/ Madam,
During and after University years I had the extraordinary possibility to work for ++++, an important Italian NGO that deals with development projects in Africa, Latin America and East Europe.
I helped with the organisation of a variety of events including fundraising events, enjoying working as part of a team; I learned how to cope with demanding situations and tight deadlines, as well as handling responsibilities and working autonomously.
This experience made me well aware of my interest in the charity field, so I decided to broaden my possibilities and move to London to learn English (at school I studied just French).
During my ten months stay, I went to a College and I worked in a pub as a waitress.
It has been a great experience which tough me a lot and I really enjoyed sharing life with people coming from different cultures.
Once back to Italy, I had a one year experience in the security sector as marketing officer.
Being the Company quite small, I learned how to be flexible and cover different positions, from marketing to customer care, from writing project reports to privacy issues.
I gained, also, more ability to manage my own workload and good computer skills.
I am an active volunteer: I help a local organization who supports single parents, especially immigrants, with their small children; I participate to “Banco Alimentare”, a not for profit organization whose aim is to collect food surpluses from industries and redistribute them to several smaller organizations to help poor or homeless people.
Regarding my personality, I am an extrovert team player who has a genuine interest in and commitment to helping people.
I have recently moved to London and I’m available for an interview at any time.
Please review the enclosed resume and consider my application for a place in your Organization.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Thanks!
Dear Sir/ Madam,
During and after University years I had the extraordinary possibility to work for ++++, an important Italian NGO that deals with development projects in Africa, Latin America and East Europe.
I helped with the organisation of a variety of events including fundraising events, enjoying working as part of a team; I learned how to cope with demanding situations and tight deadlines, as well as handling responsibilities and working autonomously.
This experience made me well aware of my interest in the charity field, so I decided to broaden my possibilities and move to London to learn English (at school I studied just French).
During my ten months stay, I went to a College and I worked in a pub as a waitress.
It has been a great experience which tough me a lot and I really enjoyed sharing life with people coming from different cultures.
Once back to Italy, I had a one year experience in the security sector as marketing officer.
Being the Company quite small, I learned how to be flexible and cover different positions, from marketing to customer care, from writing project reports to privacy issues.
I gained, also, more ability to manage my own workload and good computer skills.
I am an active volunteer: I help a local organization who supports single parents, especially immigrants, with their small children; I participate to “Banco Alimentare”, a not for profit organization whose aim is to collect food surpluses from industries and redistribute them to several smaller organizations to help poor or homeless people.
Regarding my personality, I am an extrovert team player who has a genuine interest in and commitment to helping people.
I have recently moved to London and I’m available for an interview at any time.
Please review the enclosed resume and consider my application for a place in your Organization.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Top answer
You need to rearrange it so that not every sentence is a separate paragraph. Otherwise main points are: 'extraordinary possibility' is not correct. ) back in Italy I had one year's As the company was quite small, I also improved my computer skills and ability to .....
- You need to rearrange it so that not every sentence is a separate paragraph.
- Otherwise main points are: 'extraordinary possibility' is not correct.
- ) back in Italy I had one year's As the company was quite small, I also improved my computer skills and ability to .....
- organisation that not-for-profit
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5 Answers
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You need to rearrange it so that not every sentence is a separate paragraph.
Otherwise main points are:
'extraordinary possibility' is not correct.
tough should be taught me a lot (unless you meant toughened me up a lot!)
back in Italy I had one year's
As the company was quite small,
I also improved my computer skills and ability to .....
organ
Otherwise main points are:
'extraordinary possibility' is not correct.
tough should be taught me a lot (unless you meant toughened me up a lot!)
back in Italy I had one year's
As the company was quite small,
I also improved my computer skills and ability to .....
organ
00
Thank you!
I'm not sure I got right a couple of things
During and after University years I worked for...
Back in Italy, I had a one year’s experience...
Are these your corrections?
BM
I'm not sure I got right a couple of things
During and after University years I worked for...
Back in Italy, I had a one year’s experience...
Are these your corrections?
BM
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I would put 'During and after University...'
'Back in Italy, I had one year's experience'
'Back in Italy, I had one year's experience'
00
organization is the proper spelling.. you have organisation ... good luck....
00
As with many words, 'organization' is the AmE variant and 'organisation' is the BrE variant-- take your pick.
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