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Anonymous Posted 19 years ago
Grammar
Could someone please help me see what the mistakes in this paragraph are?
0 Paragraph: 02 br
02 br
00 I’d been eighteen. Overflowing with a sense of adventure, overcome by a sense of greed and overwhelmed with a desire for independence. I’d packed my bags, grabbed my scholarship package and marched out of a house I had once called home. Since then, I’d been responsible for me. I’d always had to fight for myself and my place in this world. No one could do it for me- I hadn’t let them. For all the self-assurance and confidence I’d had then, my heart was slamming hysterically as I stood staring at the lift that would transport me back to my past. 0-
02 br
00 I’d been eighteen. Overflowing with a sense of adventure, overcome by a sense of greed and overwhelmed with a desire for independence. I’d packed my bags, grabbed my scholarship package and marched out of a house I had once called home. Since then, I’d been responsible for me. I’d always had to fight for myself and my place in this world. No one could do it for me- I hadn’t let them. For all the self-assurance and confidence I’d had then, my heart was slamming hysterically as I stood staring at the lift that would transport me back to my past. 0-
Top answer
0 The past perfect should be minimized here also. 02 br 02 br 02 i 0-
- 0 The past perfect should be minimized here also.
- 02 br 02 br 02 i 0-
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1 Answers
0
0 The past perfect should be minimized here also. It is awkward and slows the narrative painfully. 02 br
00 The second sentence is not one. 02 br
01 i 00 Responsible for 01 b 00 myself 02 b 02 i 00 , not 01 i 00 me. 02 br
02 br
02 i 0-
00 The second sentence is not one. 02 br
01 i 00 Responsible for 01 b 00 myself 02 b 02 i 00 , not 01 i 00 me. 02 br
02 br
02 i 0-
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