Could someone please correct my CV? it is urgent

Question

HyIt would be great if someone could correct my Lettre cover ASAP , it is quite urgent .Than you so much Dear Madam or Sir,I am writing to you to express my interest and motivation in completing a two-to-three month summer internship in your company. I noticed your firm while looking up on the Internet. My name is xxxxxxxr, I am a dynamic and enthusiastic 19 year old French woman. I am currently a first year Masters Student in thexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, an international Business school specialized in Foreign Trade (France) and I have completed a Bachelor’s Degree in Science and technology of management specializing in accounting. Very interested by business, management and also all that concerns PR and events OR (i have a doubt)also all with the regards of event and taking this year a course in the ESCE, It will be a great opportunity for me to work in your company. In addition to my studies, I am founder and president of a humanitarian association called “4L TROPHY LET’S MAKE IT HAPPEN” which consist in bring along school supplies in morocco desert. This allowed me how to manage a group, hold on a budget, listen every members, improve communication and management skills, and also to organize event.Participating to a year foreign exchange program at the aged of 15 year old in the United States, it enabled me to travel abroad and work on my first projects in an intercultural environment. I am confident that I can be an active, open minded and useful member of you team, willing to contribute during my internship. I am therefore very excited of being able to become an intern in your company and pursue my double wish of working on enhancing projects in an international environment.My resume, enclosed herewith for more details, contains additional information on my experience and skills. I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss my candidacy with you. I can be available for an interview any time at your convenience.Thanking you for your consideration and looking forward to hearing from you.Yours sincerly,

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Here are some quick suggestions and comments:

I am writing to you to express my interest and motivation in completing a two-to-three month summer internship in your company.
I noticed your firm while looking up on the Internet. (Unnatural English. also not very complementary to the company if it was accidentally encountered while browsing.)

My name is xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, I am a dynamic and enthusiastic 19-year-old French woman. I am currently a first year Masters Student in the xxxxxxxxxxxxx, an international Business school specializing in Foreign Trade (France) ~~and I have~~ having completed a Bachelor’s Degree in Science and Technology of Management specializing in accounting. ~~Very~~ My interests in business management include Public Relations (PR) ~~and also all that concerns~~ PR and events OR (i have a doubt)
(I am lost here - I don't know what you are trying to say - OR=Operations Research?) also all with the regards of event (what event?) and taking this year a course (what course?) in the ESCE, It will be a great opportunity for me to work in your company.

In addition to my studies, I am founder and president of a humanitarian association called “4L TROPHY LET’S MAKE IT HAPPEN” which ~~consist in bring along~~ collects and delivers(?) school supplies to villiages in the Moroccan desert. This allowed me ~~how~~ to manage a group, hold to on a budget, listen to all ~~every~~ members, improve communication and management skills, and also to organize events.

Participating in a one-year foreign exchange program at the age aged of 15 ~~year old~~ in the United States~~, it~~ enabled me to travel abroad and work on my first projects in an intercultural environment. I am confident that I can be an active, open-minded and useful member of you team, willing to contribute during my internship. I am therefore very excited of being able to become an intern in your company and pursue my double wish of working on enhancing projects in an international environment.

My resume which is enclosed ~~herewith for more details,~~ contains additional information on my experience and skills. I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss my candidacy with you. I can be available for an interview any time at your convenience.
Thanking you for your consideration and looking forward to hearing from you.

Anonymous · Answer

Than you very much

here is the final one

Dear Madam or Sir,
I am writing to you to express my interest and motivation in completing a two-to-three-month summer internship in your company. I have discovered your firm on the Internet and I have been very enthusiastic about your activity and business since.

My name is xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I am a dynamic and enthusiastic 19-year-old young French woman. I am currently a first year student of 5-year program (Master ‘degree) at the xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, an international Business school specialized in Foreign Trade (France) and I have completed a high school Degree in Science and Technology of Management specializing in accounting. I am very interested in business, management and everything dealing the creation of events.
It would be a great opportunity for me to work in your company.

In addition to my studies, I am the founder and president of a charity called “4L TROPHY LET’S MAKE IT HAPPEN” which consists in collecting and bringing along school supplies in the Morocco desert. This allowed me to manage a group, hold on a budget, listen to all members, improve communication and management skills, and also to organize events.
Participating in a one-year foreign exchange program at the age of 15-year-old in the United States, has enabled me to travel abroad. I am confident that I can be an active, open-minded and useful member of your team, willing to contribute during my internship. I am therefore very excited of being able to become an intern in your company and pursue my double wish of working in your company and in an international environment.
My resume which is enclosed, contains additional information on my experience and skills. I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss my candidacy with you. I can be available for an interview any time at your convenience.
Thanking you for your consideration and looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,

Anonymous · Answer

Can someone please delete this previews message ? My name is on it !
I would be very grateful, maybe a moderator can do it ?

Clive · Answer

Hi,

I can't delete it, because people have already commented on it. But I will edit out your name.

Clive

Could someone please correct my CV? it is urgent

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