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Sailsofoblivion Posted 13 years ago
Could someone please check my use of punctuation and answer a few grammatical questions?
Hi, I was just wondering if someone could check my use of punctuation in this poem and tell me if it is correct or not? Particularly with regards to my use of semi-colons in the second and sixth lines.
I was also wondering if it is acceptable to have a comma after “now” in the last sentence (and similarly after ‘me’ in the fifth)? I used it to add emphasis to the final phrase, but in terms of parenthesising ‘and now’ it is not necessary, so I’m a little confused.
Finally, could anyone please tell me if the word ‘plaything’ needs a hyphen in it ‘play-thing’?
Thanks in advance!
‘Annabelle’
She is the tempest cast upon my woeful soul,
A conduit for evil, the black rain from hell;
Consumed by a demon not of this world,
And disguised by a child’s candid exterior.
To me, she is a baleful and fiendish terror,
Who has defiled my every callow reverie;
A porcelain doll, once a mere plaything,
And now, the architect of my morbid demise.
I was also wondering if it is acceptable to have a comma after “now” in the last sentence (and similarly after ‘me’ in the fifth)? I used it to add emphasis to the final phrase, but in terms of parenthesising ‘and now’ it is not necessary, so I’m a little confused.
Finally, could anyone please tell me if the word ‘plaything’ needs a hyphen in it ‘play-thing’?
Thanks in advance!
‘Annabelle’
She is the tempest cast upon my woeful soul,
A conduit for evil, the black rain from hell;
Consumed by a demon not of this world,
And disguised by a child’s candid exterior.
To me, she is a baleful and fiendish terror,
Who has defiled my every callow reverie;
A porcelain doll, once a mere plaything,
And now, the architect of my morbid demise.
Top answer
Rules for poetry are not necessarily the same as for prose, and more freedom is granted. I'll correct this as if it were prose. line 1 no semi-colon, use a comma line 5 no comma at the end line 6 use a comma rather than a semi-colon Strictly speaking, a semi-colon is found between two clauses that could stand alone, used to show the close relationship between the two would-be separate sentences.
- Rules for poetry are not necessarily the same as for prose, and more freedom is granted.
- I'll correct this as if it were prose.
- line 1 no semi-colon, use a comma line 5 no comma at the end line 6 use a comma rather than a semi-colon Strictly speaking, a semi-colon is found between two clauses that could stand alone, used to show the close relationship between the two would-be separate sentences.
- There are other uses for the semi-colon, but they don't apply here.
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7 Answers
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Rules for poetry are not necessarily the same as for prose, and more freedom is granted. I'll correct this as if it were prose. line 1 no semi-colon, use a comma
line 5 no comma at the end
line 6 use a comma rather than a semi-colon
Strictly speaking, a semi-colon is found between two clauses that could stand alone, used to show the close relationship between the two would-be separate
line 5 no comma at the end
line 6 use a comma rather than a semi-colon
Strictly speaking, a semi-colon is found between two clauses that could stand alone, used to show the close relationship between the two would-be separate
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Hi, I was just wondering, do you mean that there is no semi-colon in line two?
Also, could you please explain why no comma is necessary in line 5? Apparently commas are required before 'who' if the information given is not required to identify the person in question. In this instance, I don't think it's necessary, but I'm not sure.
And is it okay that I have used a comma before a
Also, could you please explain why no comma is necessary in line 5? Apparently commas are required before 'who' if the information given is not required to identify the person in question. In this instance, I don't think it's necessary, but I'm not sure.
And is it okay that I have used a comma before a
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sailsofoblivionShe is the tempest cast upon my woeful soul,A conduit for evil, the black rain from ****,Possessed by a demon not of this world,And disguised by a child’s candid exterior.To me she is a baleful and malicious fiendWho has defiled my every callow reverie,A porcelain doll, once a mere plaything,And now, the creator of my morbid demise.This is good
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Sorry about this, but could you please explain why - in prose - commas are acceptable around the phrase "and now"? From what I know, I imagine that it's to emphasise contrast. However, it parenthesises a phrase that is essential to the meaning of the sentance?
As a result, would a semi-colon be acceptable after "plaything" to demonstrate the fact that it is a new clause?
As a result, would a semi-colon be acceptable after "plaything" to demonstrate the fact that it is a new clause?
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sailsofoblivionAs a result, would a semi-colon be acceptable after "plaything" to demonstrate the fact that it is a new clause?What follows plaything is not a clause - a clause must have a subject and a verb.
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I see, so are the commas around 'And now' used merely for the sake of emphasis?
Thank you so much, as you can tell, I'm just trying my best to get my head around basic punctuation.
Thank you so much, as you can tell, I'm just trying my best to get my head around basic punctuation.
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