Could someone help me to revise the letter?

To general manager,

I am ____, the secretary of the Innovation and Invention Society of _____ School, the largest and the most reputable private Chinese high school in ____ state. I am writing this letter to implore any possibility of visiting Legoland to enhance our creative thinking.

Our society, Innovation and Invention, is a new society in our school. It is grouped in January 2012. We have almost 40 members right now. Although it is young, our society has accomplished significant results on group projects done by the members. Through many science experiments, we have developed different kinds of skills.

We hope to get the chance of visiting Legoland to stimulate our creativity, the ability to produce new ideas or things using skill and imagination. As from what I have acknowledged from some books or magazines, Lego appears to be the most creative toy that has been invented. It inspires children and young people to collaborate while creating and communicating stories using Lego bricks. It explores their minds and stimulates their creativity. The Legoland theme park, which utilises close to 50 million Lego blocks, offers us the chance to view unique displays of these pieces. We do hope that we have the opportunity to visit this amazing theme park.

I assure a sponsored visit to the theme park will be a great influence to the society members.

Thank you for reading my letter. I will be looking forward to hearing from you soon. Thanks again.

Sincerely ,
___