Could someone help me to identify where I've misused the passive voice ?

Question

''One reason why I would like to work for the National Audit Office as an Assistant Auditor is because the organisation has been recognised externally by organisations such as Stonewell and Access Accountancy. Working for an organisation that has been externally credited gives me confidence that I’ll develop professionally and acquire the experience and skills needed to succeed in my career.''

Apparently I've misused the passive voice in this paragraph but I'm not sure where or how to correct it

Ivanhr · Accepted Answer

Jim22Working for an organisation that has been externally credited

I don't understand this part. What did you mean by credited (perhaps praised or recognized)?

Englishmaven · Answer

I'm guessing you are using something like "grammarly" or even "Word," and it has informed you that you have a passive verb that needs to be changed to active. The verb in question is " has been recognised."

I disagree entirely, and I would advise you to leave it in the passive. It works well in the sentence and the paragraph. We do want sentence variety; it is part of style. Overuse of the passive can be a problem, but occasional use of it is fine. Some industries are more apt to need the passive more than others. Technical reports are generally full of passive structures, often because the subject isn't known or doesn't really matter. The lab results were sent to the prosecutor yesterday. It doesn't matter who sent them. The point is that they were sent. Clearly the lab sent them. The window was broken during the night. I don't know who broke it. Why would I say, "Somebody broke the window." Clearly, someone broke it. At any rate, it is not a grammar sin to write a passive construction.

I would, though, like to point some other things out to you about the piece. I find it quite redundant to use reason, why, and because in the same sentence. They say the same thing.

One reason I would like to work for the National Audit Office as an Assistant Auditor is that the organisation has been recognised externally by organisations such as Stonewell and Access Accountancy.

I additionally find it problematic that the word "organisation" is repeated in the sentence. I would reword the sentence to avoid that. The second sentence has the word "organisation" in it as well, as the subject of the sentence. It is repeated and it doesn't sound as good as you want it to sound.

Could someone help me to identify where I've misused the passive voice ?

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