Could someone correct my grammar pls? (09FEB)

Question

This topic is quite difficult for me....
Could someone correct my mistake / give me some idea of it?
Thank you so much!
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Q:
Your car is hired from a company and while you are driving on holiday, you have a small accident. You will have to
write a report to the company to explain it. You need to explain the following:

1. When and where you hired it?
2. Describe how the accident happened?
3. What kind of action did you take after the accident?

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A:
Dear Sir,

I am regret to tell you that the car which I hired from your company was crashed since I have a small traffic accident on yesterday evening. The car's back door was dent after the accent.

The car was hired from your company yesterday morning. I intended to return the car back to your company on evening after I took a short trip to go to fishing near countryside. Unfortunately, the accident happened in the first crossroad after I back to the downtown on evening, someone crash me from the back when I was waiting for the traffic light change. I called the police immediately, and the police claimed that this accident was mainly due to the wet road.

Please feel free to contract me if you have any enquiry. Besides, would you please let me know if the lost which occurred by above accident will full cover by insurance or not.

Regards.
Assman

Ahelaumakani · Accepted Answer

*I think "hired" is a strange word to use for this. I would say "rented".

A:
Dear Sir,

I regret to inform you that the car which I hired from your company was damaged as I had a small traffic accident yesterday evening. The car's back door (trunk?) was dented after the accident.

The car was hired from your company yesterday morning. I intended to return the car back to your company in the evening after I took a short trip to go to fishing in the countryside. Unfortunately, the accident happened at the first crossroad on my way back downtown that evening. Someone hit me from behind while I was waiting for the traffic light to change. I called the police immediately, and the police determined that the accident was mainly due to the wet road.

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. Also, would you please let me know if the cost of the damage from the accident will be fully cover by insurance or not.

Regards.
Assman (assman?!?)

Assman · Answer

Thank you so much!

Can you pls tell my why I have to use " while " instead of " when" at the below sentence?

"Someone hit me from behind while I was waiting for the traffic light to change. "

Ahelaumakani · Answer

On this post, Teo had a fairly good explanation of the difference.

When is for a short action, while is for a longer action. And since you were waiting, that would be a longer action. It is something that continues to happen at the same time something else happens. Now another way to say the same thing would be this:

"I was waiting for the traffic light to change when someone hit me from behind." Because the action of being hit from behind takes place over a short period of time. I hope that clears up the difference for you.

oh, and I noticed that I failed to make a correction on the original:

Also, would you please let me know if the cost of the damage from the accident will be fully covered by insurance or not.

Assman · Answer

Thank you so much for yr clear explanation!
I really help me much.[Y]

Could someone correct my grammar pls? (09FEB)

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