Could somebody check my writing? please :D

Working while studying is an issue which frequently generates a great deal of heated debate, with supporters maintaining that it makes young more independent , whilst opponents claim that it can be hazardous because less time for studying means more backlogs.
The most crucial advantage of working while studying is that it is a big step in adulthood. For example, teenagers have to learn what money means and how to save money. Does it teach them how important responsibility is.
Secondly, it is often argued that students want to find out who they are and what kind of job will bring them satisfaction and gratification in the future. Experts are of the opinion that, if you never try you will not know what is going to be your priority. Apart from being self-sufficient, working is an incredibly opportunity to make new friends and learn new places.
In contrast, opponents of working while studying suppose that it often interferes with school schedule and pupils have to choose what to do. It is often argued that they have problems with studying and they can fail their exams. It always involves stress and can give nervous breakdown.
Furthermore, it is generally felt that employers are extremely sly and they are searching cheap labor and students often engage work which is underpaid. For example, if they are confess and stupid they take job where they will work without insurance.
Taking everything into account, it is true to say that working while studying has advantages and disadvantages, but I suppose, majority of people would like to work and earn their own money and improve their skills. Under no circumstances could I imagine being without work.