Could some be Kind and correct my motivate letter

I am ______, strong advocate of business process management, industrial engineer and systems engineer. I appreciate this opportunity to introduce myself at your University and to apply for the Master of Science in ------------. With my educational background and working experience in the field of process management, I strongly believe that I am suitable candidate for the course.

Since the beginning of my professional career I have developed a strong interest for the issues regarding business processes effectiveness and efficiency continuous improvement, especially projects involving integration with technology, as I advocate the opinion that process improvement should be supported, or enabled, through technology. That is why I enrolled myself in two different programs at the -------- university in ----------: Industrial Engineering and Systems Engineering, because I desired to have an interdisciplinary approach to this issues: On one hand, the information technology and systems approach of Systems Engineering and on the other, the business management approach of Industrial Engineering.

Developing optimal solutions in response to business problems and opportunities has always captivated my interest, not only because of the great value and service that such activities offer to an organization, but also because the solution finding process itself involves not only technical but also managerial challenges that require innovation, creativity, communication, discipline and strong solving problems skills in order to use a holistic perspective and positively impact the organization as a whole.

Moreover, the pursuit of an integrated view of information systems and a managerial perspective, has been a constant through my carrier in the financial and insurance services industry, and it is what brought my attention to the Information Systems program offered by the ---------------------. As soon as I read the course description I knew it was perfect for me, as you will see from the attached resume, process management has been almost an obsession to me and I gladly found it is one of the program thematic areas of specialization, which is very exciting because it will allow me to get a deeper understanding on the subject and will enable me to design, manage, and deliver better projects and solutions as process manager on inter-dependent processes optimization. The strong research orientation of the program will give me the tools and research methods knowledge I believe I need to accomplish one of my biggest goals which is to contribute as a researcher in the academia, something I haven’t have the opportunity to do yet but I hope I will begin at your university and I will continue doing in my country.

Therefore, I would be honored if you decide to accept my request to be a master student at the ---------- university.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration.