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Chen Dong Song Posted 15 years ago
Letter Writing
Could Anyway help me to correct my motivation letter
I have written a motivation letter for my universit exchange program, i always have grammatical problem with English writting. I hope someone could help me with this letter, and give some other suggestions!
are there any words, sentence or things that are not proper to use in the lettter.
in the letter i use "Eurocentrism or Westernization" , i am not sure if its too stronge to use them in this letter, if its, how should i change it. and last paragraph, should i write longer, or its enough. and does the letter long enough as a motivation letter, did i miss something?
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Respected Sir/Madam:
I am an undergraduate student from XXX University of Budapest. My major is Sociology, All of my seminars and lectures are taught in English. As a second year student, I already start preparing for my future thesis. I am specialized on the field of Social Media, thus I will develop my thesis according to this direction. I mainly focus on how social network has impact on young generations, and how do young generations change their world through variants social media tools.
I am writing to apply for the exchange BA Social Sciences program in Chinese at Fudan University in the autumn 2012. Fudan University has one of the best Social Sciences faculty among other Chinese University, also this will be a great opportunity for me to socialize again with people from my homeland. I migrated with my family to Hungary in XXX, since then I rarely go back to China, only twice within these years, each time I stayed for about one and half month. Besides feeling of nostalgic, it is also very important for me as a sociology student to expand my field knowledge. I gain quite rich academic knowledge in XXX University on sociological field, also some others as well. But so far, most of concepts of classes tend to be Eurocentrism or Westernization, it is crucial for me also to obtain sociological knowledge from other continent, such as China. The best way to do achieve this is to be there as personally. China has an unpredictably change society; me, as a Chinese origin, it would be a great opportunity to study it and knowing it.
I went to Hungarian elementary school, and graduated in an English High school. For many years, I always participated in Hungarian language class in order to concrete my Hungarian language skill. Beside my studies, I also work as a computer technician. I used to be an employee of XXX computer Service Company located in Budapest. Customers were mainly from XXX community, but we also provide service to local. I quit after 4 years, due to intense study. Still i work as a computer technician as freelancer. In the summer of 2012, I got my other job. I started working with a XXX business man as a Contact Assistant and translator. My task is finding suppliers for him inside European countries, and in some cases i go on business trips. By doing double jobs, I am able to sustain myself with basic living costs.
I am looking forward for studying in my country again after many years, I believe it would be an unforgettable experience in my life.
are there any words, sentence or things that are not proper to use in the lettter.
in the letter i use "Eurocentrism or Westernization" , i am not sure if its too stronge to use them in this letter, if its, how should i change it. and last paragraph, should i write longer, or its enough. and does the letter long enough as a motivation letter, did i miss something?
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Respected Sir/Madam:
I am an undergraduate student from XXX University of Budapest. My major is Sociology, All of my seminars and lectures are taught in English. As a second year student, I already start preparing for my future thesis. I am specialized on the field of Social Media, thus I will develop my thesis according to this direction. I mainly focus on how social network has impact on young generations, and how do young generations change their world through variants social media tools.
I am writing to apply for the exchange BA Social Sciences program in Chinese at Fudan University in the autumn 2012. Fudan University has one of the best Social Sciences faculty among other Chinese University, also this will be a great opportunity for me to socialize again with people from my homeland. I migrated with my family to Hungary in XXX, since then I rarely go back to China, only twice within these years, each time I stayed for about one and half month. Besides feeling of nostalgic, it is also very important for me as a sociology student to expand my field knowledge. I gain quite rich academic knowledge in XXX University on sociological field, also some others as well. But so far, most of concepts of classes tend to be Eurocentrism or Westernization, it is crucial for me also to obtain sociological knowledge from other continent, such as China. The best way to do achieve this is to be there as personally. China has an unpredictably change society; me, as a Chinese origin, it would be a great opportunity to study it and knowing it.
I went to Hungarian elementary school, and graduated in an English High school. For many years, I always participated in Hungarian language class in order to concrete my Hungarian language skill. Beside my studies, I also work as a computer technician. I used to be an employee of XXX computer Service Company located in Budapest. Customers were mainly from XXX community, but we also provide service to local. I quit after 4 years, due to intense study. Still i work as a computer technician as freelancer. In the summer of 2012, I got my other job. I started working with a XXX business man as a Contact Assistant and translator. My task is finding suppliers for him inside European countries, and in some cases i go on business trips. By doing double jobs, I am able to sustain myself with basic living costs.
I am looking forward for studying in my country again after many years, I believe it would be an unforgettable experience in my life.
Top answer
I am Tofayel, a young Bangladeshi. I have recently been admitted to graduate school and I believe it is because of the excellent assistance that I had putting my statement of purpose together by a non-profit organization dedicated to helping people from the Developing World to be accepted into graduate school programs.
- I am Tofayel, a young Bangladeshi.
- I have recently been admitted to graduate school and I believe it is because of the excellent assistance that I had putting my statement of purpose together by a non-profit organization dedicated to helping people from the Developing World to be accepted into graduate school programs.
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2 Answers
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I am Tofayel, a young Bangladeshi. I have recently been admitted to graduate school and I believe it is because of the excellent assistance that I had putting my statement of purpose together by a non-profit organization dedicated to helping people from the Developing World to be accepted into
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Hi Dong Song,
I've corrected the grammar and changed/rearranged some of the words to improve flow, but would suggest you re-examine the contextual structure, the amount of information you are volunteering, and the amount of information you need to give. Also note, please, I've used British English in my spelling but saw you used American English in a couple of instances. British and Ameri
I've corrected the grammar and changed/rearranged some of the words to improve flow, but would suggest you re-examine the contextual structure, the amount of information you are volunteering, and the amount of information you need to give. Also note, please, I've used British English in my spelling but saw you used American English in a couple of instances. British and Ameri
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