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Too finicky 7 Posted 6 years ago
Grammar

Could anyone proofread this ?

This small article is about the current situation in J&K.

The abrogation of Article 370 has created a political chaos in the state. Some political leaders have been imprisoned in the jails fearing that they could stir up violence in the state and all those leaders seen slamming the government for this bold move are worried about nothing but themselves as the repealment of this article shuts down their shops of political dynasty as these political leaders have been governing this state for decades and see this move as a threat to their political dynamism.

Please do advise about the writing style and there is this one statement "as the repealment of this article shuts down their shops of political dynasty", I don't know whether this statement is correct or not but what I wanted to express by the statement is that these political leaders see this state as a business model and nothing else, so the word "shops" was meant in a bit harsh sense.

Thanks

  

Top answer

The first sentence should be okay if you remove "a". Break up the second one into shorter sentences; it's way too long and difficult to follow as it stands.

  • The first sentence should be okay if you remove "a".
  • Break up the second one into shorter sentences; it's way too long and difficult to follow as it stands.
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1 Answers
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The first sentence should be okay if you remove "a".

Break up the second one into shorter sentences; it's way too long and difficult to follow as it stands.

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