0
Anonymous Posted 17 years ago
Letter Writing
Could anyone help me to check my Motivation Letter?
I am Oscar. Now, I am preparing a motivation letter as a requirement of Erasmus Program, but it becomes difficult because I am not from English speaking country. So, I need anyone to check my writing and tell me my weakness and if possible the way to cover it. This is the letter,...
To: QEM Master Administrator and Coordinator
January 30, 2009
Dear Recruiting Coordinator,
I am writing to apply for Master Degree in QEM, which is one of Erasmus Mundus Programs. I am a final year student of International Business Administration Program in the Faculty of Economics, ABCD University. Currently, I am taking an internship and prepare my thesis as my last courses in the last semester of my undergraduate studies. Considering to my education background in Economics, I believe this master program is the best opportunity to continue my study and improve my professional qualification, further to enrich my prospective future.
After researching Erasmus Mundus Master Degree Program, I have come to the conclusion that QEM Program is the perfect match of my aims. I am very interested to apply Master Degree in QEM, because I am majoring in Economics and I am enthusiastic to study it deeper. Besides that, this field is offered several specializations in Economics and Finance, which could complete and enrich my knowledge from my previous study. I have no doubt to take as much advantage from this opportunity by studying very hard.
The awarded degree of this program is very interesting. According to the degree of the master program, students will be awarded by double degree from the two universities of specialization in which they will be studying. Also, students will have the additional diploma from European Council. These fact encourage me to become more interested to take a part in this extraordinary opportunity.
Among several great features of Erasmus Mundus Master Degree Program, Master in QEM will be conducted in 4 institutions of consortium. The perfect combination of AAA University, BBB University, CCC University, DDD University will challenge the students to studying harder. The most important for me are the high standard of studies and the very diverse international program. Students from the entire world are attending a variety of programs and are able to expand their knowledge and share different cultures and opinions. This is exactly what I am looking for.
Moreover, AAA University is offering a wide range of courses and appears to be the perfect complement to my education, mainly focused on Economics and Finance Studies. It would enable me to develop stronger background of knowledge from my current studies and that would give a significant plus to my future career.
After finish this degree, I would like to take a look to get work experiences in Europe which is according to my background, while also see any opportunities to the continuation of my study. I believe the theories that I will get from postgraduate studies will be completed by those implementation in the real life. Those great experiences will lead me back to my home country to implement my knowledge and experiences for the development of my nation and home university.
I have always lived in XYZ, but studying abroad has been always part of my plans. In addition to my native language, my English proficiency is good enough. I have joined Intensive English Program in United States in 2008, and then improved my English very well. Besides that, my study in undergraduate courses which is taught in English supports my communication and understanding in English. Also, I have enjoyed both to study and work in multicultural environments, where the students and colleagues came from different provinces even nationality. Moreover, I have involved in Student Association in my campus, particularly in Academic Affairs.
Finally, I believe Master Degree in QEM is an excellence program to start my career. Being very motivated and ambitious, I know that my strong points are good communicative and administrative skills. I would like to work and study in a team of enthusiastic and determined students, and eventually achieve the goals that I have defined for myself.
I am confident I would prove to be an enthusiastic and hard working student.
To: QEM Master Administrator and Coordinator
January 30, 2009
Dear Recruiting Coordinator,
I am writing to apply for Master Degree in QEM, which is one of Erasmus Mundus Programs. I am a final year student of International Business Administration Program in the Faculty of Economics, ABCD University. Currently, I am taking an internship and prepare my thesis as my last courses in the last semester of my undergraduate studies. Considering to my education background in Economics, I believe this master program is the best opportunity to continue my study and improve my professional qualification, further to enrich my prospective future.
After researching Erasmus Mundus Master Degree Program, I have come to the conclusion that QEM Program is the perfect match of my aims. I am very interested to apply Master Degree in QEM, because I am majoring in Economics and I am enthusiastic to study it deeper. Besides that, this field is offered several specializations in Economics and Finance, which could complete and enrich my knowledge from my previous study. I have no doubt to take as much advantage from this opportunity by studying very hard.
The awarded degree of this program is very interesting. According to the degree of the master program, students will be awarded by double degree from the two universities of specialization in which they will be studying. Also, students will have the additional diploma from European Council. These fact encourage me to become more interested to take a part in this extraordinary opportunity.
Among several great features of Erasmus Mundus Master Degree Program, Master in QEM will be conducted in 4 institutions of consortium. The perfect combination of AAA University, BBB University, CCC University, DDD University will challenge the students to studying harder. The most important for me are the high standard of studies and the very diverse international program. Students from the entire world are attending a variety of programs and are able to expand their knowledge and share different cultures and opinions. This is exactly what I am looking for.
Moreover, AAA University is offering a wide range of courses and appears to be the perfect complement to my education, mainly focused on Economics and Finance Studies. It would enable me to develop stronger background of knowledge from my current studies and that would give a significant plus to my future career.
After finish this degree, I would like to take a look to get work experiences in Europe which is according to my background, while also see any opportunities to the continuation of my study. I believe the theories that I will get from postgraduate studies will be completed by those implementation in the real life. Those great experiences will lead me back to my home country to implement my knowledge and experiences for the development of my nation and home university.
I have always lived in XYZ, but studying abroad has been always part of my plans. In addition to my native language, my English proficiency is good enough. I have joined Intensive English Program in United States in 2008, and then improved my English very well. Besides that, my study in undergraduate courses which is taught in English supports my communication and understanding in English. Also, I have enjoyed both to study and work in multicultural environments, where the students and colleagues came from different provinces even nationality. Moreover, I have involved in Student Association in my campus, particularly in Academic Affairs.
Finally, I believe Master Degree in QEM is an excellence program to start my career. Being very motivated and ambitious, I know that my strong points are good communicative and administrative skills. I would like to work and study in a team of enthusiastic and determined students, and eventually achieve the goals that I have defined for myself.
I am confident I would prove to be an enthusiastic and hard working student.
Top answer
Hey, I made the necessary corrections in CAPS so you can idetify them. However I had to remove some articles and there are a couple of sentences that you have to rephrase. Do that and then I can give a final overlook.
- Hey, I made the necessary corrections in CAPS so you can idetify them.
- However I had to remove some articles and there are a couple of sentences that you have to rephrase.
- Do that and then I can give a final overlook.
- To: QEM Master Administrator and Coordinator January 30, 2009 Dear Recruiting Coordinator, I am writing to apply for A Master Degree in QEM, which is one of Erasmus Mundus Programs.
- I am a final-year student of International Business Administration Program AT THE ABCD University.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
2 Answers
0
Hey,
I made the necessary corrections in CAPS so you can idetify them. However I had to remove some articles and there are a couple of sentences that you have to rephrase. Do that and then I can give a final overlook.
To: QEM Master Administrator and Coordinator
January 30, 2009
Dear Recruiting Coordinator,
I am writing to apply for A Master Degree in Q
I made the necessary corrections in CAPS so you can idetify them. However I had to remove some articles and there are a couple of sentences that you have to rephrase. Do that and then I can give a final overlook.
To: QEM Master Administrator and Coordinator
January 30, 2009
Dear Recruiting Coordinator,
I am writing to apply for A Master Degree in Q
00
Darling,
It just happened that I stumbled upon your motivation letter while surfing the Internet, and I just couldn't help posting a comment.
Please don't take this the wrong way, this is supposed to be advice, not criticism. Although a nice helpful person has corrected your grammar problems (which, by the way, are not tremendously severe) with which I couldn't have helped you better
It just happened that I stumbled upon your motivation letter while surfing the Internet, and I just couldn't help posting a comment.
Please don't take this the wrong way, this is supposed to be advice, not criticism. Although a nice helpful person has corrected your grammar problems (which, by the way, are not tremendously severe) with which I couldn't have helped you better
0
Related Questions