Could anybody point out errors, please ? thank you

Question

I have written this story to get practice on Past tense. i am weak at english Tense and learning more books to get more knowledge. main goal of this story is to write in past tense. i tried to follow the S+V+O format. please review and provide your valuable feedback.

Trip to Zoo: (In past tense)

This essay is about the experience of visit to the zoo. Last weekend, I woke up in the morning and felt like want to try something new. I called my friend and he shared an experience of trip to the zoo. After the call, I decided to visit the zoo, as the temperature was awesome. In Chicago, “BEG zoo” is a very famous Zoo and must visit family attraction. Many travel sites has given a good ratings on the zoo.

BEG zoo was located at 30 miles from my home. Using the Google maps, I noted the direction to the zoo. I started at 9 am and I was able to reach with in 45 min to the zoo. When I reach, I had seen lot of cars in the parking lot and the zoo was very crowded. First, I saw a group of monkeys and then tigers. Suddenly, I heard some crazy noise on the left side. I turned towards the side and I saw huge lion making weird noises. Zookeeper came and told us that lion make these kinds of noises, when they are hungry. He gave a food to the lion.

I also saw elephant, horses, and parrots. Overall, it was very nice and enjoyable experience. My favorite animal is lion and I am so happy to see them at Zoo. I had so much fun and decided to make regular trips to the zoo.

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

Hello, Vijay — and welcome to English Forums. I have underlined some problem areas. Please fix them and post your revised text here:

Trip to Zoo: (In past tense)

This essay is about the experience of visit to the zoo. Last weekend, I woke up in the morning and felt like want to try something new. I called my friend and he shared an experience of trip to the zoo. After the call, I decided to visit the zoo, as the temperature was awesome. In Chicago, “BEG zoo” is a very famous Zoo and must visit family attraction. Many travel sites has given a good ratings on the zoo.

BEG zoo was located at 30 miles from my home. Using the Google maps, I noted the direction to the zoo. I started at 9 am and I was able to reach with in 45 min to the zoo. When I reach, I had seen lot of cars in the parking lot and the zoo was very crowded. First, I saw a group of monkeys and then tigers. Suddenly, I heard some crazy noise on the left side. I turned towards the side and I saw huge lion making weird noises. Zookeeper came and told us that lion make these kinds of noises, when they are hungry. He gave a food to the lion.

I also saw elephant, horses, and parrots. Overall, it was very nice and enjoyable experience. My favorite animal is lion and I am so happy to see them at Zoo. I had so much fun and decided to make regular trips to the zoo.

Vijay4u · Answer

Thank you Msiter for your reply. i have made some corrections, can you please check this one?

This essay is about the experience that I had visited the Zoo. Last weekend, I woke up in the morning and felt like wanted to try something new. I called my friend and he shared an experience about his trip to the “BEG” zoo. In Chicago, “BEG” is the very famous Zoo and a must visit family attraction. Many travel sites have given good ratings on the zoo. After the call, I decided to visit the zoo, as the temperature was awesome.

BEG zoo is located at 30 miles from my home. Using the Google maps, I noted the route to the zoo. I started at 9 am and it took 45 min to reach the zoo. When I reached, I saw lot of cars in the parking lot and the zoo was very crowded. First, I saw a group of monkeys and then tigers. Suddenly, I heard some crazy noise on the back. I turned back and I saw the huge lion making weird noises. The Zookeeper came and told us that the lion makes these kinds of noises, when they were hungry. He gave the food to the lion.

I also saw an elephant, horses, and parrots. Overall, it is very nice and enjoyable experience. My favorite animal is a lion and I am so happy to see them at the Zoo. I had lots of fun and decided to make regular trips to the zoo.

Mister Micawber · Answer

It seems that you have also made changes to parts that I did not underline. Now I must simply underline your errors anew:

This essay is about the experience that I had visited the Zoo. Last weekend, I woke up in the morning and felt like wanted to try something new. I called my friend and he shared an experience about his trip to the “BEG” zoo. In Chicago, “BEG” is the very famous Zoo and a must visit family attraction. Many travel sites have given good ratingson the zoo. After the call, I decided to visit the zoo, as the temperature was awesome.

BEG zoo is located at 30 miles from my home. Using the Google maps, I noted the route to the zoo. I started at 9 am and it took 45 min to reach the zoo. When I reached, I saw lot of cars in the parking lot and the zoo was very crowded. First, I saw a group of monkeys and then tigers. Suddenly, I heard some crazy noise on the back. I turned back and I saw the huge lion making weird noises. The Zookeeper came and told us that thelion makes these kinds of noises, when they were hungry. He gave the food to the lion.

I also saw an elephant, horses, and parrots. Overall, it is very nice and enjoyable experience. My favorite animal is a lion and I am so happy to see them at the Zoo. I had lots of fun and decided to make regular trips to the zoo.

Vijay4u · Answer

Mister, sorry for late reply. can you please check this version:

This essay is about experience that i visited the zoo. Last weekend, I woke up in the morning and felt like want to try something new. I called my friend and he shared an experience about his trip to the “BEG” zoo. In Chicago, “BEG” is very famous Zoo and must visit family attraction. Many travel sites have given good ratings on the zoo. After the call, I decided to visit the zoo, as the temperature was warm.

The zoo is located in 30 miles from my home. Using the Google maps, I noted the route to the zoo. I started at 9 am and it took forty-five minutes to reach the zoo. When I reach, I saw lots of cars in the parking lot and the zoo was very crowded. First, I saw a group of monkeys and then tigers. Suddenly, I heard some crazy noise on the back. I turned back and I saw the huge lion making weird noises. A Zookeeper came and told us that lion makes these kinds of noises, when they get hungry. He gave food to the lion.

I also saw an elephant, horses, and parrots. Overall, it was a very pleasant and an enjoyable experience. My favorite animal is a lion and I am so happy to see them at the zoo. I had lots of fun and decided to make regular trips to the zoo.

Can you please explain the errors(if you explain in short,i can correct in future)

his trip to the “BEG” zoo

Overall, it is very nice

to see them at the Zoo

Mister Micawber · Answer

This essay is about my experience visiting the zoo. Last weekend, I woke up in the morning and felt like trying something new. I called my friend and he shared an experience about his trip to the BEG Zoo. In Chicago, BEG is a very famous zoo and a must-visit family attraction. Many travel sites have given good ratings to the zoo. After the call, I decided to visit the zoo, as the temperature was warm.

The zoo is located 30 miles from my home. Using the Google maps, I noted the route to the zoo. I started at 9 am and it took forty-five minutes to reach the zoo. When I reached it, I saw lots of cars in the parking lot and the zoo was very crowded. First, I saw a group of monkeys and then tigers. Suddenly, I heard some crazy noise at the back. I turned back and I saw a huge lion making weird noises. A zookeeper came and told us that the lion makes these kinds of noises when he gets hungry. He gave food to the lion.

I also saw an elephant, horses, and parrots. Overall, it was a very pleasant and enjoyable experience. My favorite animal is the lion and I am so happy to see them at the zoo. I had lots of fun and decided to make regular trips to the zoo.

his trip to the “BEG” zoo -- This is a proper noun, the name of a specific zoo.

Overall, it is very nice -- It is a past experience

to see them at the Zoo -- This is a common noun, a generic term.

Vijay4u · Answer

Thank you soo much. thanks for your help.

Vijay4u · Answer

Mister, I have analyzed the errors and trying to correct my mistakes. Can you please explain?

good ratings to the zoo – what is difference between “on the zoo” and “to the zoo”
When I reached it, - why we need “it”, can I write “when I reached” or "when I reached there"?
noise at the back – why it is better than “on the back”
is the lion – I should use “the” because lion is countable, correct?

Could anybody point out errors, please ? thank you

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