Could anybody help me check my essay please?

Write an essay answering this question: What are the three key attributes that define you? You should start with a clear thesis statement and describe each of your attributes in separate paragraphs. You should write at least 250 words and finish with a clear conclusion.

The three most important attributes of my identity are my family, my hobby as a yogi, and my dream job as a coffee shop owner.

First of all, families are an integral part of one's life. My father is someone who is caring, and takes care of his children, his family. Sometimes, he is strict with me because he wants me to be disciplined. Being disciplined is tough, but I know it is for my good. My mother is someone who is accepting will love her children no matter what. I really appreciate my mother and father’s effort, patient and their hard work to conserve the family’s happiness. Therefore, I always try my best to do everything to contribute to my family.

Secondly, I think health and happiness are synonymous. Being heathy is the greatest indicator of people’s spiritual, mental, physical well-being, and happiness. I was generally not a fan of yoga, but after finding out I had a chronic illness, I tried a few minutes of yoga before bed every night. I've been doing yoga for about a year now. Yoga improves strength, balance and flexibility, also can ease my arthritis symptoms. I used to be a very negative person. But by creating a powerful mind-body connection, yoga makes me feel more positive.

Finally, I’d like to create a safe space and a pleasant environment for people. It does not need to be very big, but it has to be quiet and comfortable. Starting any business is super easy but growing a business and having it become successful is extremely hard. I always want a place to represent myself, it shows what I like and what I dream about, and that is my café.