Could anybody check my English, please

Reign Of Fire

A dragon is an intelligent flying flamethrower, living on ashes. One day they’ll crawl out the London’s sewer and make a big shenanigan. On this occasion director Rob Bowman made this feature film named “Reign Of Fire”, which is a new masterpiece of computer graphic and memorial of pyrotechnist’s bravery.

The plot of this movie is quite original. At the beginning, clever and quick fire-spitting beasts successfully derail human civilization. Tiny groups of survivals are hiding from them in some holes and cellars, along with rats and cockroaches. One of these communities of totally freaked out humans will make our acquaintance.

It is lead by a certain Queen (Christian Bale). He is a nervous unshaven former fireman, who was traumatized by dragons as far back as his childhood, that why he thinks that the best way to treat a dragon is to “run for shelter, and never look back”. With this attitude he manages to keep alive (but not very happy) the little community, occupied the tumbledown castle not far from London.

They live frightened and hungry until cool American guys come to see them. They come on tanks, equipped with huge harpoons. You probably think if you have a tank you will rather shoot dragons with a tank gun. Well, it would be a mistake. You see: the dragon is a fairy-tale animal, so you have to hunt it with a fairy-tale weapon, because he doesn’t give a damn on you contemporary toys.

Let’s get back to the movie. Tattooed man in dusty uniform, handsome as the God of war himself, leaded this team of Chips and Dales. He wears a dragon tooth on his neck and he tells that he knows how to kill a dragon. So if the English cowards help him, he will save them from the damn vermin.

By his first instinctive decision Queen wanted to ask the uninvited rescuers to get the hell off his cliff, but then something happened. “I looked in his eyes”, - that’s how he explained his decision to join hands with newcomers, despite all good instincts. This soft whisper of latent homosexuality he confused with a good omen and got involves into an escapade, proposed by the tank-ranger Matthew McConaughey (Van Zan) and Polish model Izabella Scorupco (the brave copter pilot Alex Jensen).

My opinion that one self-guided missile for one dragon should be enough. That could be pretty sweet: we would be sitting in the stadium and eating popcorn while the missile would chaise the dragon in the sky above. But movie duds prefer less effective, but, no doubt, much more romantic devices, that’s why they die like butterflies. I have to say these gladiator’s combats are the most attractive part of the movie.

Anyways, if I quit to spit poison, I will have to admit: this movie is not bad it all. I really enjoyed watching it. The dragons look good, very natural, unlike some ballerina dinos at the Discovery channel. I wish you a pleasant evening and - «Good hunting, little brother!»

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Thanks for you help, guys!