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Fith_for_Fear Posted 20 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Could any one read and check my grammar

Unemployment, especially among young people issue has come to focus of many public attention and become one of the most serious problems in many countries. Some people say that employment and unemployment always go in parallel, interact each other and exist together , we can do nothing to eliminate unemployment as well as supply jobs for everyone . The question is what measures exactly can be done for it .

Firstly , let’s take a look at the reasons why there are so many unemployed people in some developing countries and the majority of those peoples are the youngster. Because the population of these country are increasing so fast , and every year there are more people entering the labour age. It will be very difficult to supply enough work for those huge number of population , so that some young people can’t find out a job when they reach their labour age.

One reason for the unemployment among young people is in the education . Universities and colleges still now using mass training methods which can’t guarantee a stable job to their student after they have graduated. There are still to many student which are unemployed after they’re full educated . Young people are always creative and expert in work , they also have ability to acquire new technology speedily and apply in concrete situation.To waste this labour force is completely unfortunate and unacceptable. And unemployment are always combined with crime, hence , the problems of using young labour has been an serious and uncomfortably question in many countries. So how can we solve such an difficult problem like this ? Of cause we can not eliminate the unemployment but , in some way we can minimize it .

The most important thing the government must do is to pay for education as well as carry out the education as well. This will take a lot of time and money but as you see above ,the higher the education quality , more chance for student to get a job when they leave school. On the other hand , there will not be enough jobs for people in a country if this country choose to develop the economy its self. Integrating into the world’s economic organization is the best way to attract the investor , thus we can supply more job and take the full advantage of the ability of our young people. Furthermore, the country itself can export labour to the other country which are labour exporting markets . This will help the government to disperse more labour and take more care on the rest. In my opinion, the government must shorten the retirement age for every economical branch so that there will be more place for young people .

In conclusion , The fastest developing country is the country which know how to salvage the young labour force in a sensible way. The problem of unemployment of young people has become very serious in many country. To rectify this situation, the government must spend a lot of money and attempts .
  

Top answer

Hi, I think you'll make fewer grammatical errors if you use simpler sentences. Hope that helps.

  • Hi, I think you'll make fewer grammatical errors if you use simpler sentences.
  • Hope that helps.
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4 Answers
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Hi,

I think you'll make fewer grammatical errors if you use simpler sentences.

Hope that helps.
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uhm, these are some thoughts that ample into my mind when reading ur essay.

- U got great ideas

- But a matter in structures and expressions.

With the ideas from ur introductory paragraph, I've tried to rewrite it in my own way. Hope that my recasting would help serve as a kinda inspiration.

The unemployment rate among youth has become a
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JulielaiHi,

I think you'll make fewer grammatical errors if you use simpler sentences.

Hope that helps.

Hi, Juilelai and thank you for your help. I'm improving my writing by trying to use longer and more complex sentences .Of course they are a bit clumsy and somes are incorrect in grammar , at first but I hope they will be much bet
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Mina_namiuhm, these are some thoughts that ample into my mind when reading ur essay.

- U got great ideas

- But a matter in structures and expressions.

With the ideas from ur introductory paragraph, I've tried to rewrite it in my own way. Hope that my recasting would help serve as a kinda inspiration.

The unemploy

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