Correctness of tense for this type of story telling situation

Hi. Let us pretend that two girls are talking and one girl is talking about what happened yesterday with a friend. The thing/incident happened was something unexpected. Is the tense indicated/underlined correct to you? I would appreciated if you looked over the rest of tenses used. Should I place a comma after the word "then" (in bold letters) in the fourth sentence?

Hi. Sally. You know what? I bumped into this guy yesterday at a buy subway station and dropped my key chain at that time. He picked it up and handed it to me while saying "I am sorry." And then he asked me if I could meet somewhere nice at a later date. Wow, he was asking me to go out with him. I haven't had a chance to get to know him and he was there asking me to out with him. What do you make of that? Sally, seriously, can you guess what my response was? ...