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Dear teachers and friends...Does this text read well?Syble immersed herself into a luxurious bubble bath and started to think about her husband's father and how little she knew him. She remembered how Peter hesitated in his father's presence, challenging him too and being turned aside too easily with good-natured ridicule, she found herself stupefied by Jacob's authority. She has always felt that she made a sorry impression, although Peter reassured her that his father had found her a "mighty pretty young thing". She frequently has wished that she meant a little more than this to Jacob, but a week after their second meeting, he had suddenly died of a heart attack.Her mind wandered lost in random thoughts, she knew, and had tried to remember what provoked these thoughts. She remembered the letter that Peter's mother recently received, inviting her to make a scientific expedition and it had an effect on everyone in the family. Maund became brute, yes. And Peter, he has been busier now, more intense, more nervours and more complaining about petty annoyances (it that was possible), above all, about  the questionable wisdom of the trip. But Maud treated him as she has always treated him, with the infinite patience and affection of all mothers with their precocious little boys. Maud defended the solidity of the trip and had explained that the circumstances permitted no investigation and reminded him of her infallible ear for a good thing, the result of instinct as well as experience. As usual, once overruled, Peter retreated into the burden of extra work.Thank you very much

KrisBlueNZ · Accepted Answer

It reads pretty well, but there are some issues. Bear in mind, I'm pretty picky.

Syble isn't a normal English name; there is a name Sybil. But I guess you know that.

Immersed herself INTO a luxurious bubble bath - Probably an inappropriate combination; I'd use immersed herself IN a luxurious bubble bath, or better, relaxed into a luxurious bubble bath or better, sank into a ...

... she found herself stupefied by Jacob's authority - First, I don't think stupefied has the meaning you want; it certainly sounds out of place to me. Maybe mystified, if she doesn't understand how Jacob has that authority over Peter.

Second, that part of the sentence shouldn't be set off with a comma, because you are stating a new subject. At the start of that sentence She remembered how Peter hesitated ... you state the subject as Peter, then you have the parenthetical part about challenging and ridicule (which doesn't restate the subject), then you have this extra part, that starts with a new subject, she. This is wrong. The subject may be stated after a comma, for example This afternoon, John ate an apple, but the subject isn't stated before the comma as well, in other words it's normally only stated in one place. The first part, before the comma, is an "extra bit" like your She remembered how. I guess the rule is that you don't normally restate the subject of the sentence, and especially you don't change the subject of the sentence, part way through. You could use a full stop (period) before She found herself ...

has always felt should be HAD always felt. The narrative here is all past tense - "she DID this", "she THOUGHT that" - things she did in the past. So you need to use HAD. Using HAS moves it into the present tense, which can be done for poetic effect but that's not the case here.

She frequently has wished that similarly should be She had frequently wished that or She had often wished.

... that she meant a little more than this probably should be ... that she HAD meant a little more than this, because Jacob is now dead, so any feelings he had about Syble were in the past.

That's the first half, maybe someone else can tackle the second half...

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