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Trex Posted 18 years ago
Song Writing & Lyrics

corrections

Hi, here's a love song loosely translated. What changes can you suggest so that it has a native flavor?

Being loved, loving, the greatest feelings, my colourful life
I've learnt all from you.
Wiping the inner corner of my crying eyes, my badly hurt feelings
I've learnt from you.
You are mine, my dream-eyed
Tomorrow is both ours
Being without you can never happen
I can't ever (=can never) separate from you
  

Top answer

I would change the underlined: Being loved, loving, the greatest feelings, my colourful life I've learnt all from you. Wiping the inner corner of my crying eyes, my badly hurt feelings I've learnt from you. You are mine, my dream -eyed Tomorrow is both ours Being without you can never happen I can't ever (=can never) separate from you

— Mister Micawber

  • I would change the underlined: Being loved, loving, the greatest feelings, my colourful life I've learnt all from you.
  • Wiping the inner corner of my crying eyes, my badly hurt feelings I've learnt from you.
  • You are mine, my dream -eyed Tomorrow is both ours Being without you can never happen I can't ever (=can never) separate from you
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1 Answers
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I would change the underlined:

Being loved, loving, the greatest feelings, my colourful life
I've learnt all from you.
Wiping the inner corner of my crying eyes, my badly hurt feelings
I've learnt from you.
You are mine, my dream-eyed
Tomorrow is both ours
Being without you can never happen
I can't ever (=can never) separate from
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