corrections 1

Question

Can I say,(a) The men looked strange because they didn't buy any jewellery. I did not take notice until     I heard someone ordered us to raise both of our hands. (b) I saw 2 masked men pulled out a pistol and pointed at one of the customers. They were     burglars. (c) The burglars ordered us to queue and put all of our valuables into a sack. The other      burglar went to put all the jewelleries into another sack. (d) They tied all of us using a thick rope. A hiding assistant saw what happened and set off       the burglar alarm.

Vincent Teo · Accepted Answer

How do I correct sentences above? any comments?

Neeraj Jain · Answer

Corrections:

(a) The men looked strange because they didn't buy any jewellery. I did not take notice until

I heard someone ordered us to raise both of our hands.

The men looked strange because they didn't buy any jewellery. I did not take notice until I heard someone ordering us to raise both of our hands.

(b) I saw 2 masked men pulled out a pistol and pointed at one of the customers. They were

burglars.

I saw 2 masked men pulling out a pistol and pointing at one of the customers. They were burglars.

(c) The burglars ordered us to queue and put all of our valuables into a sack. The other

burglar went to put all the jewelleries into another sack.

The burlars ordered us to queue and put all of our valuables into a sack. The other burglar ~~went to~~ put all the jewellery into another sack.

(d) They tied all of us using a thick rope. A hiding assistant saw what happened and set off

the burglar alarm.

They tied all of us using a thick rope. An assitant, who was hiding, saw what was happening and set off the burglar alarm.

Feebs11 · Answer

Vincent Teo

Can I say,

(a) The men looked strange because they didn't buy any jewellery. I did not take any notice until

I heard someone ~~ordered us to raise both of our hands~~. order us to raise our hands.

(b) I saw ~~2 masked men pulled out a pistol and pointed at~~ ~~one of the customers~~. one of the two masked men pull out a pistol and point it at a customer. They were burglars. robbers. [Burglars illegally enter buildings in order to steal - they generally operate at night. Someone who come into a shop in the day to steal is a robber]

(c) ~~The burglars~~ One of the robbers ordered us to queue up and put all of our valuables into a sack. The other

burglar went to put all the jewellery from the shop into another sack.

(d) They tied ~~all of us~~ us up, using a thick rope. A ~~hiding assistant~~ assistant who had been hiding saw what happened and set off
the burglar alarm.

corrections 1

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