Correction sentence

Question

1. My application stayed/was on the final round of the selection. But I had not been selected.

2 I have been working as a Management Trainee at a Group of company.

3. I am applying for the Master’s Programme in abc for the 2012 intake or starting in autumn, 2012 --- which one is more appropriate.

I need correction above mentioned sentences.

Thanks

Mizanur

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi,

1. My application stayed/was on the final round of the selection. But I had not been selected.

2 I have been working as a Management Trainee at a Group of company.

3. I am applying for the Master’s Programme in abc for the 2012 intake or starting in autumn, 2012 --- which one is more appropriate.

I need correction above mentioned sentences.

1. My application made it to the final round of the selection, but I was not selected / I was not successful.

2 I have been working as a Management Trainee at / for a group of companies.

3. I am applying for the Master’s Programme in abc starting in September, 2012.

Clive

Mizanur · Answer

Thanks, Clive..

Mizanur · Answer

Dear Clive,,

I wrote a motivation letter draft. I am not a native speaker. I will be glad if you check out my motivation letter given below.:

Letter of Motivation

I would like to express my desire to study at University B in Norway. I am applying for the Master’s Programme in “Public Administration” as a quota student for the 2012 intake.

I received my Bachelor of Social Sciences Degree (4 years) in Public Administration from University D. I secured First Class in my BSS Honours Degree. I also completed my one year Master’s in Public Administration. I obtained First Class in my MSS as well. I have taken an IELTS Test from the British Council Dhaka, Bangladesh where my overall band score is 7.0

I have successfully completed a professional course in SPSS & Applied Statistics. In addition, I prepared several research papers as a part of my tutorial assignment. This type of critical and analytical work helped me to be familiar with and cope with practical knowledge of field of research with a view to improving my career.

I am an ambitious, self confident, realistic and optimist student from my early childhood. It was my cherished desire to study abroad after completion of undergraduate and graduate degrees in Bangladesh. Country A is my best choice for further education because of its well balanced social and educational infrastructure. To be honest I came from a typical middle class family of a third world country. The tuition fee and living cost in a developed country cannot be afforded by my family and quota scheme can transform my dream into reality. I also applied for 2011 intake. I had not been accepted last year. When I applied for the programme, I had already given my one year Master’s final examination. But my result was not published. This year I am applying with my master’s certificate. I suppose it will add more weight to my candidature for Master’s programme at University of Bergen.

I was involved in various co-curricular activities like BNCC (Bangladesh National Cadet Core), DUniversity Tourist Society (DUTS) and Quantum Blood Donating foundation during my university life. This sort of activities helped me grow as a good team worker. I love meeting new people, exploring new culture and gathering ideas and University of Bergen can provide me such opportunities. Students from different regions, ethnicity and cultures are being taught at University of Bergen. University of F has a rich and varied social and cultural life with numerous associations, societies and organizations.

Presently, I am working as a Management trainee at a group of company in Bangladesh since August, 2011. I also worked as a contact centre agent at Grameenphone Ltd which plays a vital role to enhance my communication skills and increase outstanding relationship building and networking skill as well. Since Grameenphone is a venture of Telenor Group, various countries citizens are working here particularly Norwegian, Indian, Chinese and of course Bangladeshi. I consider this kind of experience will assist me to adapt quickly with Nordic environment.

My ultimate aim is to obtain PhD in my relevant field. I really want to see me as an expert in the field of public administration in the long run. Masters Programme in Public Administration at BUniversity will definitely help me attain such goal. In addition, I will get a chance to interact with Norwegian culture and its administrative system that will make me familiar with modern administrative system. Likewise,.

Conversing with the former students of the University of B who happen to be my teachers as well I came to know that B University got excellent hardware and software facilities that can be compared with some of the top listing countries having outstanding education system. I am studious in nature and the highly equipped library of the university would help me get diversified and up-to-the-minute information. The faculties of the university are well known and continuously contributing to the academic and research arena. An assistance of those esteemed faculties will definitely enhance my views, knowledge and know how on modern theories, techniques and technologies. Even the participatory teaching approach inside the class room helps broaden students’ horizons and infuse confidence to prepare assignments and present at different seminars.

The Norwegian Masters degree involves enhancing specific professional skills. I believe this programme will enhance my analytical skills and provides a comprehensive training in methodology. I want to develop my analytical ability and competence through scientific work and presentation. Study involves acquiring in-depth understanding of a specific area of knowledge usually by independent research or coursework. My ultimate goal is to build my career in any international NGOs, development organizations or research institutions namely, BRAC, OXFAM, CPD, Action Aid, UNICEF, Save the Children etc. are presently working in Bangladesh. I realized importance of having a foreign degree from a country having developed pedagogical and social culture. Therefore, I would be lucky enough to gain a master degree from the University of B.

Having a Master Degree from counrty A I will have enough confidence to get a suitable job in Bangladesh. Both local and multinationals companies are seeking highly skilled employee who are able to contribute to its development process. I will straightly return back to Bangladesh after the completion of my study. It will be my honour to get a Master Degree from your institution.

Considering my intention, ability and motivation as a whole I hope you would be kind enough to grant me an admission. It’s my assurance that I shall respect all the rules and regulation of the University during my study period. Once again I am grateful for considering my application and I look forward to a favourable reply.

Best regards,

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mizanur Rahman

Dhaka

Mob:

E-mail:

I need correcton of my motivation letter. It seems too long. Any suggestion to precise the letter is appreciated.

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