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Dr.Dhaif Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

correction please !

Hi all ..

This is a writing for an assignment . It 's a description of a given graph and i have to use fractions, percentages, decimals and words.

I need it to be checked before i submit it on tomorrw.

So, I would be grateful if you mention all my mistakes. All other comments are welcome.

here it goes:


The graph shows data about the number of televisions and computers per 1000 people. It presents data about 7 different countries around the world: USA, France, Sweden, UK, South Korea, Saudi Arabia and Philippines. We can infer the following:

First, in the , three quarter of people have televisions and 55% of 1000 inhabitants have computers.

In , the number of televisions per 1000 inhabitants is less than three fifths. Nought point three of French have computers.

The number of televisions and computers in are almost equal. A half of Swedish people have computers and the number of televisions there is approximately 50%.

When it comes to the , nought point five percent of people have televisions. About 1 third of 1000 inhabitants have computers.

The situation in is quite different than the previous countries. There, about a third of Southern Korean have televisions, and less than 40% of them have computers.

In , more than a fifth of Saudis have televisions and nought point zero five percent have computers.

Finally, per 1000 inhabitants, less than 5% of people have televisions in . The number of computer users there is about nought point zero two.

We can conclude from the graph that the number of televisions in most of selected countries is greater than the number of computers, while in , the two numbers are similar to each other. But when it comes to , we can notice that it's the only country where people who use computers are more than those who have televisions.
  

Top answer

Hi, Here are some suggestions. Clive The graph shows data about the number of televisions and computers per 1000 people. It presents data about 7 different countries around the world: USA, France, Sweden, UK, South Korea, Saudi Arabia and Philippines.

  • Hi, Here are some suggestions.
  • Clive The graph shows data about the number of televisions and computers per 1000 people.
  • It presents data about 7 different countries around the world: USA, France, Sweden, UK, South Korea, Saudi Arabia and Philippines.
  • We can infer the following: First, in the USA, 75% of the people have televisions and 55% of 1000<<< does this mean 55% of all people?
  • it's not clear.
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2 Answers
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Hi,

Here are some suggestions.

Clive


The graph shows data about the number of televisions and computers per 1000 people. It presents data about 7 different countries around the world: USA, France, Sweden, UK, South Korea, Saudi Arabia and Philippines. We can infer the following:

First, in the USA,
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CliveHi,

Here are some suggestions.

Clive


First, in the USA, 75% of the people have televisions and 55% of 1000<<< does this mean 55% of all people? it's not clear. why not just say 55% of Americans? people have computers.

Yes , I mean 55% of all people in Amer

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