Correction of an Essay

0 Hello,02br
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00I'm trying to write Essays to improve my English level cause I want to study in the United Kingdom. But I always have some problems in grammar.02br
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00So I would like a kind English speaker correct the big mistakes in the grammar of my sentences (not the content). I'll be very grateful if you can help me 05002br
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00Thanks a lot ! 02br
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00 The topic is : "01b00According to press articles, the US is a more masculine country than France. To what extent do you believe this is true ?02b00"02br
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00Through History, we’ve seen that American people are proud and want to manage the world. Meanwhile, French people know how to live and they have a more collectivism mentality. According to several studies, the US is a more “masculine” country than France. We’re about to study if this is a reality or not.02br
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00First, we can compare educational values between these two countries.02br
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00American people are rather individualistic.02br
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00Each person must show his value to be recognized. The merit is more important than the link formed with others. Pupils and students have to be independent, self-confident and competitive. Competition is the key word there.02br
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00For instance, intercollegiate sporting events are promoted in American football and basketball. These competitions attract not only young people but all sport fans.02br
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00In France, people are rather collectivistic. Ties between people are privileged. It doesn’t matter if a person undergoes many failures, his family and his friends will always support him. Devotion in relationships is essential because people don’t want to be alone.02br
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00We’re used to partying several times by week, we enter in student associations to share our ideals with others and we think that is the victory of groups which is more important.02br
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00In a soccer games, one player goal is the equip goal. (but 1 joueur est le but de l’équipe)02br
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00According to Geert Hofstede, these points show that the US is a more masculine country than France. I think there is another aspect of this topic with the gender ideas.02br
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00One of those ideas is the power that is a more masculine idea. We have noticed that big is part of American culture, I think it can illustrate that idea.02br
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00Indeed, American cars are big like 4x4 or Espace, there are big burgers.02br
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00They use an amazing budget for their movies with many special effects. They often contain fights like Rambo, Terminator or Rocky. Each time, we have the feeling that American glory is bet and it’s always American people who win.02br
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00Then, American comics imply more heroes with superpowers and a nice physical appearance like Superman or Hulk.02br
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00On the contrary, French culture hires the small things. Products are adapted to family which is a more feminine idea.02br
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00French cars for young people are smaller like the Twingo, the Clio or the Smart. We’re used to taking a little break with a small cup of coffee.02br
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00In France, there are often humoristic or romantic movies. At the moment, “Bienvenue chez les ch’tis” is the best French humoristic movie of the year.02br
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00In France, we’re used to reading comics like “Astérix” or “Tintin” who are not really superheroes.02br
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00As we see through all these examples America owns more masculine ideas than France. We really see a gap between these two mentalities.02br
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00 However, the feminine culture in France is limited.02br
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00We also have a competitive policy as we se through a job or college interview. The selection is tough, there are some oral or written exams and many people are refused.02br
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00The vision of soccer as a “sweet” sport is far from reality because many players are hurt during the games. There are French action movies like “Les rivières pourpres”, “Nikita”, “Leon” which compete with American super production.02br
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00 In my opinion, the association between masculine culture with men who search success and feminine culture with women who look after their family is a stereotype. It tends to disappear today, women are more and more independent and they can be company’s boss or minister.02br
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00For instance, the French company CHANEL is lead by a woman.02br
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00To conclude, obviously the US is a more “masculine” culture than France. But in my view, there isn’t best culture because self-confident and relationships are essential to live.02br
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00And we can wonder if the promotion of power and success could not lead to abuse.02br
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00 Sincerely, 010id1