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New2grammar Posted 18 years ago
Grammar

correction 3

0On my way to work this morning, I was pulled over in front of the gas station. Passing motorists curiously stared at me as they cruised down the highway. It was the first time I was pulled over in 3 years. The officer walked over and asked, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" I thought to myself, "Because you saw a box of doughnuts on my dashboard?". Holding back the thought, I seriously said, "No. Did I violate something?" He hesitated for a moment that I thought he somehow read the criticism on my face, "Where have you been?" "Nowhere. Just got up and on my way to work. Why?" "Your car seriously need a wash. The plate number is nearly invisible (please suggest a word)." At this point, I was a bit annoyed. I'd been pulled over because I'd been working hard every day for the last 3 weeks and hadn't have time to wash my car. Give me a break. But I politely said, "Sorry, Officer. I've been really busy lately." Trying to be funny, "It looks like it's going to rain. It'll be like new in a couple of hours." He didn't buy (Is this a right word to use?)the joke and gave me a warning and left after checking my driver's license and insurance. 02br
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00Are there any mistakes?02br
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00Thanks in advance!0-
  

Top answer

0Here's my stab at it. I sort of took a lot of dramatic license 05001blockquote 01cite 10New2grammar12cite 10On my way to work this morning, 11font 10a cop pulled me over12font 10 in front of the gas station. It was the first time 11font 10I'd been12font 10 pulled over in 3 years.

  • 0Here's my stab at it.
  • I sort of took a lot of dramatic license 05001blockquote 01cite 10New2grammar12cite 10On my way to work this morning, 11font 10a cop pulled me over12font 10 in front of the gas station.
  • It was the first time 11font 10I'd been12font 10 pulled over in 3 years.
  • 11font 10I sat there waiting, watching the 12font 10passing motorists 11font 10stare curiously12font 10 at me as they cruised down the highway.
  • "11font 10 [omit period here]12font 10 11font 10Aloud, I said only,12font 10 "No.
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4 Answers
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0Here's my stab at it. I sort of took a lot of dramatic license 05001blockquote
01cite10New2grammar12cite10On my way to work this morning, 11font10a cop pulled me over12font10 in front of the gas station. It was the first time 11font10I'd been12font10 pulled ov
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0Wow. Your corrections make the passage alive. I really tried hard to make it alive and natural but clearly, it's no where close. I need to read a lot more.02br
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00As usual, I'll follow up with a couple of questions to make sure I understand the corrections. Herea re my questions02br
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00The officer walked 01font00up to
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0 That's not true; your version was very natural. I loved the box of doughnuts joke, and the crack about the rain, too. I only filled in a little bridge here and there. 02br
00 I chose "walk up" because, at least in my experience, when a cop pulls you over, they then pull over behind you and walk up to your car. Or I suppose sometimes they are in front of you and then walk back. "Ove
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0Delmobile, Thanks for the explanations. I have a more question but it has nothing to do with this tread. So, I'll create a new one. 0-

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