correction

Question

0I think my husband is having an affair with his friend. She has been calling him at night and in the morning and when I ask him about their relationship, he says they are just friends. Once, I smelled perfume on his shirt and when I asked him, he said it was some salesperson spraying on him when he went to the mall. When asked why he was at the mall, he hesitated and mumbled something.02br02br001. Are there any mistakes?02br02br002. If I were to put myself in her shoes, should I use the personal pronoun all the time like:02br02br00"I would confront him and tell him how upset [I am/you are]. Make sure he knows how disrespecful he is to [you/me]"02br02br00 Thanks in advance.0-

Avangi · Accepted Answer

02. Stick with the first person singular - how upset I am. - When I asked him why he was at the mall (active, not passive)02br
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001. You need to figure an object for "sprayed on him." That's what a skunk does. Or when someone sneezes. Or is drinking a coke and something makes him laugh suddenly.02br
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00 - A.02br
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00Edit. You have two threads with the same title.0-

New2grammar · Answer

0Avangi, I'm glad that you picked my choice which is to stick to the first person singular (I). However, in everyday speech, it seems like native speakers tend to switch to 'you'. Is there a good reason? Probably it's idiomatic though not grammatically correct? I would like to hear what you think. Thanks02br
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01b00I would02b00 tell him how 01b00you02b00 feel even if it is truly only a friendship he should be a little more sensitive to 01b00your02b00 feelings.02br
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00If that doesn't change his current behavior with this woman, then01b00 I would02b00 call this woman's husband, tell him everything about the phone calls between 01b00your02b00 husband and his wife and ask him if HE THINKS they are having an affair and does his wife's so call friendship with 01b00your02b00 husband bother him as much as it bothers 01b00you02b0-

Avangi · Answer

0There are times when the switch is appropriate. You may begin in the first person singular, describing a real, personal situation in the present tense. In the middle of this, you switch, to show how your story relates to life in general.02br
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01i00I'm sick of working so hard. I have to bust my **** every day in that danged place, and for what? What do I get out of it? Oh well, that's life. You bust your **** for fifty years and then you die of a heart attack.02i02br
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00In this case, "you" is used like "one," or "people." 01i01u00You / One / People02u00 must work very hard and put in long hours in order to succeed in this life. 02i02br
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00The switch from first person singular to second person corresponds to a switch from a narrative, to a comment on life in general. I don't remember that happening in the example you posted earlier. I can't see it from here, but I'll check, and if I'm wrong I'll come back.02br
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00 - A.02br
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00Edit. ("You" is not appropriate in the earlier post.) 02br
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00You might switch suddenly to second person to ask a 01b01u00general02u02b00 question: 01i00 Do you think 01b00you02b00 ( = 01b00one 02b00) should call the woman's husband in a case like that?02i02br
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00Without the "in a case like that," I'd stick to first person singular: 01i00Do you think I should call the woman's husband?02i00 (It's now specific, not general.)0-

New2grammar · Answer

0I'm surprised that you (not one, but a second person) is not even possible in everyday speech. I can't find the thread even after searching for 1 hour. I should have posted the link earlier...my bad. You, in my samples, is used to relate to the victim and not a general 'you' as in 'one'. I'll have to agree with you that you is incorrect in my samples.02br
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00If you don't mind, could you convince me why it's not possible. I'm still not very convinced. 05002br
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00A: I'm having a bad day. My husband just called and told me he wanted a divorce:02br
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00B: I would call him now and tell him how much you love him and try to patch things up 010id6

Avangi · Answer

0Ah, I see what's happening.02br
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00imperative: "Call him now and tell him how much you love him." Who is the speaker of this sentence?02br
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00declarative: "I think you should call him now and tell him how much you love him."02br
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00 "If I were you, I'd call him now and tell him how much I / you love him." (conditional??) You're absolutely right. It should be "I" at the switch, but everyone says "you."02br
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00 - A.0-

New2grammar · Answer

0but everyone says "you."02br
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00Would it be weird/overly formal in casual speech, if I say "I" instead of 'you' which is commonly said?02br
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00What's your advice? Thanks0-

Avangi · Answer

0I'd say It's one of those things like "Just between you and I," although probably 01b01i00not02i02b00 a case of "hypercorrection."02br
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00I've spent quite a few years with workmates whose formal education was marginal. A casual conversation with them would be different from a casual conversation with my chorus members, who are mainly professional people - doctors and lawyers and educators, etc. In the latter case, I tend to watch my English. Also, my language is not what you'd call "modern."02br
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00I would tend to use "I" in the example, especially with an educated crowd. But I'm sure the meaning or intention would be clearly understood either way. It's quite a common formulation.0-

New2grammar · Answer

0Thank you, Avangi.0-

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